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If you are going buy something to add to your ToyBox perhaps it is wise to buy quality rather than quantity. A flogger with no balance and made from inferior leather that turns to the consistency of dried spagetti after one use is hardly a good investment. "Oh but it was cheap" I hear you say, "and easily replaced". Well after you have replaced it a c
Consensual Slavery - Is it a Myth? John Locke, who defined slavery as a state of suspended war where one person is conquered and has no rights relative to his captor, also said that no one could become consensually enslaved since they cannot give away what they do not own. You can free yourself from a despot at any time by taking your own life.
Webster's dictionary defines communication as "the act of transmitting; a giving or exchanging of information, signals or messages as by talk, gestures, or writing." In a D/s relationship communication is vital. So what are the ways to communicate with others so that needs and feelings can be related, but the lifestyle and emotional well-being of both
I hate articles that give basic dictionary definitions for things that can't be defined in mere words alone, but I'm going to anyway. If we take the meaning of "true" as "fully realised or fulfilled", and merge it with "submit" as meaning "to yield onself to the authority or will of another", we have a concept of a person who has fully realised or ful
The dance of Dominance and subMission is an act of love in my world. It's an acceptance of the roles we choose to live by. For some it is learnt...for others it comes naturally...yet others fall into it for a myriad of reasons. It can be as beautifully simple as deeply complex and to expect any less of a lifestyle such as D/s, would be to do it injust
Thoughts on switching and switches is quite the scandalous subject. Some believe that within this lifestyle, one takes on either the role of the top or the bottom. That there is no way possible for one to switch from a sadist to a masochist at the blink of an eye. They say switching is comparable to those that are bisexual. Being that those who claim
Does love really has to hurt? According to artist David Cata it obviously does. He is a multidisciplinary artist from Spain who recently created a series of works where he sewed portraits of people who have left a mark on his life into the palm of his hand. David Cata's portrait project is both interesting and slightly disturbing, so viewer discretion
The decision to seek psychotherapy is often a major one in our lives. It is filled with anxiety, both about our need for psychotherapy and the therapist him/herself. It is not always easy under average circumstances, and certainly becomes less so when an alternative lifestyle is involved. We recommend finding a kink aware professional whenever poss
Armory Studios announces 7-week fall BDSM course. Participatory workshops open to all experience levels begin September 5. Kink Company performer and BDSM expert Madison Young is partnering with Armory Studios to lead a seven-week intensive BDSM workshop for couples beginning September 5. The fall course, entitled, "An Intimate Exploration of Dominanc
BDSM Events. May 2013. MAY 4. Threshold (USA). Slaves for Passion (Holland). MAY 5. Maison de Sade (UK). The Baroness Fetish Retinue (USA). MAY 8. DomCon Los Angeles (USA). MAY 10. Torture Garden Boat Party (UK). Bound (USA). MAY 11. Bristol Alternative & Burlesque Fair (UK). Misbehave (Holland). Store Event (USA). Club St Andre (France). Torture Gard
According to ER doctors, getting foreign objects stuck in your anus is surprisingly common. The items on this list are weirder than most, however. We've gone beyond the "usual" bottles and dildos to bring you these truly bizarre items that have all been found lodged in peoples' bums. Something tells us that they didn't really slip and "fall" onto thes
It is impossible to say who the first people were with stretched ears, or why they did it. Today, many cultures (including our own!) practice the art of ear stretching for many different reasons. Religion, coming of age ceremonies, warding off evil, sexual enhancement and physical beauty are common motivations. However, that just barely scratches the
My girlfriend and I read your site, and I have you to thank for being comfortable enough with my kinks to tell her about my interest in BDSM. She has indulged all my kinky fantasies and discovered some of her own. Our latest adventure has her locking up my dick in a CB-6000 male chastity device. The play/sex has been super-fun so far, but we want to b
When we consider some of the various barbaric practices that were commonplace in the lives of our ancestors, we tend to look at them with a judgmental eye - thinking of them as uncivilized, and downright savage. Most of us would even admit to wondering if our violent predecessors, like those who relished the bloody gladiator games or those who condone
BDSM Events. March 2013. MARCH 2. The Gate (UK). Threshold (USA). Kinky Salon Super-Eros (Holland). MARCH 3. Sadistique (Italy). The Baroness Fetish Retinue (USA). MARCH 7. Texas Latex Party (USA). Club BLack Whip (UK). MARCH 8. Lash (UK). MARCH 9. Impulsion (UK). Club St Andre – Inquisition Party (France). Masqued Mischief Fetish Party (USA). MARCH

If you engage in percussion play – and it doesn’t matter if it is flagellation with canes, whips, floggers, crops, pieces of 4 by 2 or strands of liquorice, there are going to be times, more often than not, where there will be bruising to the tissue no matter how safely you play. It may be severe or mild depending on the level of play and the period one has actually engaged in that particular play. Some submissive/bottoms develop what is called the leather bottom, a thickening of the skin tissue in that area, especially if percussion play is a prominent part of their BDSM play.

Bruising is an area of discolored skin. It develops when the lining of small blood vessels are damaged, allowing blood cells to escape into the skin and tissues. A bruise may be very small and may blend in with the texture of the skin, or it may be large, swollen, and painful. A bruise usually starts out as a red area or as tiny red dots or splotches on the skin. Within days to a week or so, the bruise becomes more purple. As it heals, it becomes brownish-yellow. Generally, bruises heal and disappear within 2 to 3 weeks. To minimize swelling, pain, and bruising after a traumatic injury, always apply cold compresses to the injured area as soon as possible and keep them on for most of the first twelve hours, with occasional breaks to prevent excessive chilling. Take homeopathic arnica tablets and massage tincture of arnica into the bruised area. Homeopathic remedies, used as first aid, can soothe the pain and soreness of bruises that come from injury, reduce swelling and fluid leakage into surrounding tissues, and generally encourage healing. A carefully-chosen remedy may also help correct a person’s tendency toward easy bruising and soreness.
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Canes are stiff, yet flexible, regarded by most, and encouraged by writings of the Victoriana School Days of Boys and Girls, as tools for corporal punishment, which of course is true. However their other uses are often over shadowed by the impressions one has of them in one’s mind’s eye. In the right hands they can be sensual and in the wrong hands a nightmare. Caning, sometimes referred to as: the English, the English Method, English Discipline, or English Style, is an art form which takes practise. A lot of practise. An exercise in control not easily attained. It is a serious play implement, it is capable of causing serious damage and is not for use by someone who has read five web sites and hit a pillow a dozen times. It demands a level of concentration above that expected for other forms of BDSM play. If you seriously wish to pursue this as a form of play take the time to seek instruction from an expert. It is not something we would undertake in a crowded or small play space as a back strike could do as much damage to an onlooker as a forward stroke could do to the party being caned. One has to be extremely aware of all the safety measures, strike areas, density, resilience, length and diameters of the implements as they all account for a different effect. No two rattan canes behave in the same way and should be treated individually.
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Killian Skarr is a sculptor from Akron, Ohio who creates primitive devices of torture from wood, found hardware and leather using a chainsaw and a blowtorch, among other tools. His art has been seen at a number of shows, most notably the Dirty show 11 in Detroit. His two largest sculptures (weighing together around half a ton and currently crowding out his living room) were featured on stage during the Halloween fetish playland in Cleveland, and will be featured again at the upcoming Organgrinders ball at the Cleveland House of Blues, and at the Dirty Show 12. Let’s enjoy the pure, sexual, arousing and dangerous art from great artist Killian Skarr.

A primitive torture device is a morbidly rendered carapace, designed to achieve maximum psychological disturbance, carved into a form intended for the function of restraint and torture. This device is composed of sinister, organic structures imposed upon wood and leather and metal by the obscure and bizarre methods of Killian Skarr. A primitive torture device is a thing which persists in space and time like a perversion upon this world. But its existence preceded its physical manifestation deep within the insanity of Killian Skarr. An aesthetic is achieved that is dark, organic, and fractal, it is a twisting and arching in skeletal form, and each serves the sadistic function to restrain and torture the human body.
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Sadism is pleasure in the infliction of pain or humiliation upon another person. This term describes consensual practices, often sexual, but not necessarily so, within the BDSM community. Sadist is one who is aroused, excited, or receives sexual gratification from inflicting pain on another. A sadist does not necessarily take pleasure in inflicting pain indiscriminately; for most sadists, the pleasure relies on knowing that the subject is also enjoying the experience. But these terms may be also used clinically, in psychotherapy, to describe mental illnesses, psychopathology or counterproductive coping mechanisms. Sadism is not necessarily associated with criminality or murder. The term sadist is thrown around very easily, the word itself may send signals, may attract and is quite often used to paint a picture that fits the world of fantasy. A seal, if you like, of quality play to come for some. Forbidden fruit always tastes the best. Some may visualise themselves as sadists but that may not necessarily be the case. They may just be extreme in some areas. Have a particular bent that is somewhat darker. Dread… political correctness, is there are some that fit the definition of a sadist however display the controls within themselves to play safely. There are some that don’t.

The word “sadism” was derived from the name of Donatien Alphonse Francois, better known as the Marquis de Sade, a French author who lived from 1740 to 1814, famous for his works of sexual arousal driven by physical suffering. He was imprisoned without trial as an “administrative punishment”, for fear of scandal, after the publishing of “Justine”, and “Juliette”. Later declared insane he was transferred to Charenton Asylum where in 1814 he died of ill health aged 74. De Sade spent 27 years of his adult life in prisons, dungeons, and asylums throughout France for reasons that included “excesses committed in a brothel”, kidnapping and sexual assault, poisoning, and homosexual sodomy. The German psychologist Richard von Krafft-Ebing in 1898 gave sadism the professional definition: a sexual perversion with strong impulses to coitus, coupled with prepatory acts of maltreatment, even murder (necrophilia, then called “lustmurder”) which occurs primarily because of an inability to be satisfied with coitus.
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Flagellation or flogging is the act of methodically beating or whipping (Latin flagellum, “whip”) the human body. Specialised implements for it include rods, switches, the cat o’ nine tails and the sjambok. Typically, flogging is imposed on an unwilling subject as a punishment; however, it can also be submitted to willingly, or performed on oneself, in religious or sadomasochistic contexts. In some circumstances the word “flogging” is used loosely to include any sort of corporal punishment, including birching and caning. The flogger, in various forms, has played a surprisingly vital role in shaping the history of mankind. Throughout the centuries, our ancestors have incorporated it not only into their sexual practices, but into their spiritual, judicial and even medical practices as well. Flagellation in the name of a god is far from being a rare thing. Nearly all of the mother religions, the ancient mystery cults of the great Mediterranean civilizations of Greece, Egypt, Rome and Persia, and even the religions of Islam and Christianity have, at some point in history, incorporated flagellation into their spiritual rites and practices.

In pagan Sparta each year, during a festival called ‘Day of Flagellations’, young men were brought before an altar dedicated to the goddess Diana where they were whipped for from dusk to dawn. People would turn out from all over the countryside to view the whippings and to cheer and encourage the boys to ‘bear the pain with fortitude.’ Priests, who would bear witness to the entire ceremony, would, at the end of the day, examine the wounds on each of the boys, and, according to the sizes and shapes of the wounds, would predict the young men’s futures. It was not uncommon for some of the boys to die from the terrible wounds inflicted upon them during this ceremony, often without ever having uttered a sound.
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Are there sex differences in masochism? For a long time, this question was asked in relation to Freud’s suggestion that women are more masochistic. Various thinkers, like Helen Deutsch and Theodor Reik, debated whether males or females were the more masochistic sex. This went back and forth for decades.

In retrospect, the whole debate may have been stupid. It is now clear that there are masochists who are men, and there are others who are women. And neither is typical: That is, most men and most women are not masochistic. Masochists are a minority found among both men and women.

But that doesn’t mean that gender is irrelevant. Male masochists and female masochists don’t seem to desire, do, and enjoy exactly the same things. It may be possible to speak of male and female styles of masochism.

Research on these different styles is just beginning. I can tell you roughly how male and female masochists differ. What these differences mean is harder to say. Keep in mind that these are merely broad, general trends, while every masochist is a unique individual, there are many males who are closer to the feminine style than the masculine style, and vice versa. You can make generalizations about masochists, but there are always many exceptions.
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A Vancouver man’s enthusiasm for bondage and his pagan beliefs were not the reason he was denied a permit to drive a limousine, the B.C. Human Rights Tribunal has ruled. Peter Hayes had alleged that the Vancouver Police Board and specifically Const. Kevin Barker denied him a chauffeur’s permit because of his religion and sexual orientation. But tribunal member Heather MacNaughton wrote in a decision dismissing Hayes’s complaint Tuesday that police legitimately believed Hayes “posed a risk of acting violently, coercively or inappropriately towards customers as a limousine driver.”

According to tribunal documents, Hayes says that he is a practicing Pagan and that his sexual orientation is BDSM. Hayes describes himself as a “lifestyler” who wants BDSM to permeate all aspects of his life. He is also bisexual and enjoys the company of multiple sexual partners. He applied for a chauffeur’s permit with the Vancouver Police Department’s taxi unit in May 2005, and was interviewed by Barker, who was tasked with vetting his application.

Hayes arrived at the interview dressed all in black: black trench coat, black shirt, black dress pants, black tie and shiny black military boots. When Barker asked what the occasion was for all the black, Hayes testified that he said he always wore black, like many Pagans.
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Submissive girl is tautly secured spread-eagle to the floor via chains and cuffs. Once in place Master takes over and begins to paint hot wax onto her body with a brush. Lots of wax. The first words out of her mouth are… that’s really fucking hot… Master just keeps working as though she didnt say a thing. She screams. Her breasts move about. She raises her head in exasperation. Her breathing is heavy and labored. And theres lots of wax to go. She screams more. Master pops in and puts the Hitachi on her for a bit. She doesn’t like that at all. Finally she begs to simply be beaten. But thats too easy. She alternates between anger, desperation and sheer terror. Sometimes a hand or a foot just begins to move independently, rocking on its own in some crazy rhythm propelled by pain. And if she didn’t have enough discomfort going on He placed a clothespin on her clit. Then He placed the Hitachi on the end of the clothespin. This made her scream out Aw, FUCK! She seemed like she was getting a little bored. Master asked her how it felt but it was hard to hear her over the constant whacking sound the clothespin was making each time it was vibed off the Hitachi. Rather like a woodpecker making a hole in a tree (or the side of the house in the case of The Attic). But He made out something about how much it hurt.

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He walks over to the bed and gazes at her sleeping so peacefully. He has plans for her tonight that she has shared with others but not with Him, well tonight that will all change. He rips the covers off her and grabs her by the hair taking her into the bathroom. She is still half a sleep but she struggles as He pulls her along. She half steps and stumbles into the tub as He pushes her down to her knees. Before she can react He orders he to pull His shorts down as she does He tells her that tonight she will do things His way and that weather she likes it or not she will obey immediately. To extenuate His point the lets go a stream of urine onto her lovely breasts. Now clean up and before you come to Me put on the restraints I have so thoughtfully laid out for you. As she bends down to turn on the water, He swats her beautiful ass.

She is shaking as she is getting cleaned up wondering what in the hell just happened but knows better that to ask. She quickly cleans up and gets out of the shower. She notices her restraints on the counter along with a sheer nighty, is she supposed to put that on also, no He did not tell her to but it is sitting there. She puts on her restraints and walks into the bedroom.
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Subspace (also sub space, headspace, flying, or floating) is a specific state of mind that a submissive may enter, particularly after intense activities and/or (depending on the person) intense pain play, characterized by euphoria, bliss, a strong feeling of well-being, or even a state similar to intoxication. Thought to be related to the release of endorphins in the brain. The euphoria associated with subspace may last for hours or sometimes even days after the activity ceases.

Subspace is a metaphor for the state the bottom’s mind and body is in during a deeply involved play scene. Many types of BDSM play invoke strong physical responses. The psychological aspect of BDSM also causes many bottoms to mentally separate themselves from their environment as they process the experience. Deep subspace is often characterized as a state of deep recession and incoherence. Deep subspace may also cause a danger in newer bottoms who are unfamiliar with the experience, and require the dominant to keep a careful watch to ensure the bottom isn’t placing him or her self in danger. Many bottoms require aftercare while returning from subspace.

Subspace is a form of trance. Trance in its essence is a state of being, different from your “normal” state of being. During trance your mind excludes most of its input and concentrates on just one or only very few impulses, completely disregarding all others. Trance is the result of hormonal activity. Hormones are substances in your body, responsible for communication between the brain and the cortex and the rest of the body. For subspace a group of hormones, called “peptides” is important. Peptides are amino acids. Many look like morphine and have attributes, that can be compared to morphine. For subspace endorphins – a group of such peptides – are an important ingredient.
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