Consensual Slavery – Is it a Myth?
John Locke, who defined slavery as a state of suspended war where one person is conquered and has no rights relative to his captor, also said that no one could become consensually enslaved since they cannot give away what they do not own. You can free yourself from a despot at any time by taking your own life. If fear of your own demise stops you, then you can be enslaved by someone who is willing and able to exercise this threat against you. Because consensual enslavement does not include a threat to one’s life by one’s owner, it cannot be real enslavement according to Locke.
Webster’s dictionary defines communication as “the act of transmitting; a giving or exchanging of information, signals or messages as by talk, gestures, or writing.” In a D/s relationship communication is vital. So what are the ways to communicate with others so that needs and feelings can be related, but the lifestyle and emotional well-being of both can be maintained? It is important to find, understand and practice the different ways to communicate, keeping in mind a relationship with anyone should be based on honesty, trust and communication. Communication cannot exist without honesty and trust, and honesty and trust cannot exist without communication. If none of these qualities exist in your relationship with someone, and especially in a blossoming relationship with a Dom/me, then there really can be no relationship.
I hate articles that give basic dictionary definitions for things that can’t be defined in mere words alone, but I’m going to anyway. If we take the meaning of “true” as “fully realised or fulfilled”, and merge it with “submit” as meaning “to yield onself to the authority or will of another”, we have a concept of a person who has fully realised or fulfilled their submission by surrendering control of onself to another. To be literal, it can’t exist alone.
It raises some questions, and these questions fall into an “either or” context. The term appears exclusionary and somewhat elite. It says, a “true submissive” would live/behave/act/exist a certain way, which is undefinable in itself, and those who don’t live/behave/act/exist in that way are something else. Just a submissive?
The dance of Dominance and subMission is an act of love in my world. It’s an acceptance of the roles we choose to live by. For some it is learnt…for others it comes naturally…yet others fall into it for a myriad of reasons. It can be as beautifully simple as deeply complex and to expect any less of a lifestyle such as D/s, would be to do it injustice.
On the surface, the notion of giving yourself for pleasure alone…of wanting for nothing more than to serve your Master…appeals deeply for some. It can look idealistically romantic from a distance. But what about within? What drives someone to surrender their control to another human being?
For me…subMission isn’t about being a submissive person full stop. I don’t define myself in terms of dominant or submissive in my day to day life. I am who i am without labels. However, i am submissive to one Man, and He i call Master. To Him i have given my control. Why?
Thoughts on switching and switches is quite the scandalous subject. Some believe that within this lifestyle, one takes on either the role of the top or the bottom. That there is no way possible for one to switch from a sadist to a masochist at the blink of an eye. They say switching is comparable to those that are bisexual. Being that those who claim to be not one or the other, but in between, are just confused.
On the other side of the spectrum, people say it is healthy to act out both sides. The desires are there whether they are of the curious nature, or a craving.
I am a switch, and this is why I like who I am and what I do. Starting off, I will let you know where I am coming from. Growing up, I was very dominant in my friendships and relationships. There was also a very sadistic side to me. It always put a smile on my face that I was able to control people, and inflict pain. Again, I was young, and had no idea that there was a label, and better yet a community where this was accepted and understood.
Punishment is not about rape, abuse, or degradation. If you don’t care about your submissive’s pleasure and well-being then D/s is not for you. People who consciously play with power exchange tend to spend a lot more time talking about their likes and dislikes than couples who restrict their lifestyle to scenes. If you are the Dominant in your relationship it is your duty to deal out punishment for the well-being of your submissive and your relationship. Punishment is carried out by the Dominant and accepted by the submissive because of the trust the submissive has for the Dominant. Your submissive will not always use their best judgment and it is then that they look to you for guidance. It is not only the Dominant’s right, but it is their duty to deal out punishment when it is called for.
What you use for punishment depends on your relationship and your submissive’s likes and dislikes. Katrina loves to be spanked and at times tries to push the buttons, egging Dominant on to spank her. For them spanking would never be a punishment. They have a small leather flogger made from thin strands of leather. The leather bites when it kisses. Katrina does not care for the immediate intense pain this can bring so it is chosen by Dom method of punishment. It takes the body a good twenty minutes to start producing its natural painkilling endorphins. (Remember this and go slow when doing a scene). Therefore you want punishment to be swift, not extending it out for hours.
There are many married submissives and Dominants who include their spouses, by passive participation, in their BDSM activities. On a number of occasions there are husbands accompanying wives as they meet a Dominant with whom she wishes to play for the first time. The husband is there for a number of reasons, probably the first and foremost being the safety of his spouse. There are Dominants whose wives not only condones the lifestyle choice but who also are on a best friend basis with the submissive with whom he plays. It takes a very special person to fill these rather large shoes, a selfless person who realizes that they are not in a position to fill a need their loved one has, in some cases a total obsession.
Rather than choosing to ignore the situation and eventually lose the loved one they take an active part in supporting their spouses and in doing so make both their lives richer for the effort. The soul searching that both have endured. The endless questions that both must have asked and answered in their minds and to each other. The human frailties and insecurities faced and conquered. The honesty and trust required. The vanquishing of the greater fear. The fear of losing the person whom you love.
People say in return “Oh he or she is just incredibly lucky”… ah no. Incredibly brave maybe. Accepting of the need of self definitely. But first and foremost an adult. Luck has absolutely nothing to do with it. The submissive or Dominant, as the case may be, actually stood on the abyss of despair, plunged the sword of truth through the beast of doubt and brought their inner most secret desires out into the light for possible rejection by the one person whom they loved. That takes a very special person indeed. It takes an even greater soul to listen and accept they are not meeting the needs of the other. And then to actually do something about it? Want only what is best for their partner.
Vivien Bianchy is a brand new Hungarian model in BDSM porn. She hasn’t done something like power exchange before. Even more, she had never heard of the word BDSM. Sex with bondage and caning was something she fantasized about but never had the opportunity to experience. The idea of being tortured too excites her. Vivien already debuted on some vanilla websites. But now she decided to learn how to serve her “female master” and get something she never experienced so far. She comes to the casting office of BDSM porn site and learns that there is no a free Mistress now and she will experience everything over again with a male Master. Vivien agrees. She will learn how to be a submissive sex slave and lets her Master tie her, torture her, and fuck her young tight pussy as hard as it hasn’t been fucked before. Some scenes of the lasting many hours session you can watch here.
Master breaks in this busty new girl by incorporating hardcore sex with bondage and caning. Nothing is better than getting a girl for the first time, when she is totally fresh and new to the bondage industry. In the beginning, she struggles vigorously to get free from Master’s grasp but is unsuccessful and exhausted in her attempt. He takes her down and ties her up, canes her lovely ass and feet and works her over with deep pussy fucking. Soon she follows every order she is given. Hands bound above her head, clamps attached to her pussy. She is caned and flogged and she is fucked again. New to BDSM, she discovers that having rough sex and being helplessly bound is erotic and she is a submissive at heart. More videos with Vivien Bianchy you can find here >
The bottom line to success in D/s type of relationship is the same as any – common sense. Common sense means you think and apply logic to all you hear. It means you think, and question again and again. You trust your gut feelings. All of that is what common sense is.
A submissive has to remember she is a person with rights and a mind and must use it. A Dom has to remember the same thing about himself as well as the submissive. A woman’/man’s submission and respect is not owed to just any man/woman claiming to be a Dom/Domme.
If you have never taken complete control of another person and experienced TPE, you are not a Dominant. But, you have dominant desires and urges, it is your nature or life experience has made you this way. Since you were not born with the knowledge, techniques, skill and imagination required to take control from a submissive. As a submissive, you have not had the experience and growth required in total surrender of all control and power with a Dom/Domme, you are not ready to take the role on without learning the basics first. Here are a few baby steps you must take without skipping to a first meet and session:
Mummification is a specialized form of bondage and sensory deprivation which involves wrapping the subject in some material or combination of materials. Mummification can be either quite severe or relatively gentle and comfortable, depending on the materials and techniques used. Regardless of severity, it tends to be one of the more involved “scenes,” as a full body wrap takes quite a long time to accomplish. But for those who enjoy it, it’s definitely worth the time and effort! Most people associate mummification with full body wraps, but the same techniques can be used on isolated body parts. For example, an electrical tape “head wrap” serves as an interesting and potentially severe hood, while arm or leg wraps can quickly immobilize a submissive.
The general idea is simple: you’re going to make a mummy, rather like what you remember from those old black-and-white horror movies. This is done by wrapping material around the submissive’s body. How you go about it will depend on your goals. For a gentle, comfortable wrap, you could use elastic bandages. If you want this to be more about bondage and helplessness, use duct tape over pallet wrap, wrapping the legs together and the arms against the body. For sensory deprivation, wrap each limb separately before doing an over-wrap… and you might consider inserting foam ear plugs before you wrap the head and cut off the mummy’s eyesight.
Some materials are fairly common in mummification, and they can be broken down into a few broad classes: