I hate articles that give basic dictionary definitions for things that can’t be defined in mere words alone, but I’m going to anyway. If we take the meaning of “true” as “fully realised or fulfilled”, and merge it with “submit” as meaning “to yield onself to the authority or will of another”, we have a concept of a person who has fully realised or fulfilled their submission by surrendering control of onself to another. To be literal, it can’t exist alone.
It raises some questions, and these questions fall into an “either or” context. The term appears exclusionary and somewhat elite. It says, a “true submissive” would live/behave/act/exist a certain way, which is undefinable in itself, and those who don’t live/behave/act/exist in that way are something else. Just a submissive?
The dance of Dominance and subMission is an act of love in my world. It’s an acceptance of the roles we choose to live by. For some it is learnt…for others it comes naturally…yet others fall into it for a myriad of reasons. It can be as beautifully simple as deeply complex and to expect any less of a lifestyle such as D/s, would be to do it injustice.
On the surface, the notion of giving yourself for pleasure alone…of wanting for nothing more than to serve your Master…appeals deeply for some. It can look idealistically romantic from a distance. But what about within? What drives someone to surrender their control to another human being?
For me…subMission isn’t about being a submissive person full stop. I don’t define myself in terms of dominant or submissive in my day to day life. I am who i am without labels. However, i am submissive to one Man, and He i call Master. To Him i have given my control. Why?
Thoughts on switching and switches is quite the scandalous subject. Some believe that within this lifestyle, one takes on either the role of the top or the bottom. That there is no way possible for one to switch from a sadist to a masochist at the blink of an eye. They say switching is comparable to those that are bisexual. Being that those who claim to be not one or the other, but in between, are just confused.
On the other side of the spectrum, people say it is healthy to act out both sides. The desires are there whether they are of the curious nature, or a craving.
I am a switch, and this is why I like who I am and what I do. Starting off, I will let you know where I am coming from. Growing up, I was very dominant in my friendships and relationships. There was also a very sadistic side to me. It always put a smile on my face that I was able to control people, and inflict pain. Again, I was young, and had no idea that there was a label, and better yet a community where this was accepted and understood.
Does love really has to hurt? According to artist David Cata it obviously does. He is a multidisciplinary artist from Spain who recently created a series of works where he sewed portraits of people who have left a mark on his life into the palm of his hand. David Cata’s portrait project is both interesting and slightly disturbing, so viewer discretion is advised. He describes his ongoing series, “A Flor De Piel” as an autobiographical diary of which his skin is the canvas. Instead of putting paint to canvas, Cata creates portraits of the people in his life using a needle, thread, and the palms of his hands.
It seems like David chose this bizarre form of art to symbolize union and separation; pain and love in the act of sewing beautiful portraits of people into his palms and then ripping them out. Cata documents this action with photography and videography, imprinting his life story into various surfaces. Each portrait takes about four hours to complete. After completing each picture David picks the needlework out of his hand before starting on the next one.
The decision to seek psychotherapy is often a major one in our lives. It is filled with anxiety, both about our need for psychotherapy and the therapist him/herself. It is not always easy under average circumstances, and certainly becomes less so when an alternative lifestyle is involved.
We recommend finding a kink aware professional whenever possible. There is a level of depth in D/s relationships that is not achieved in vanilla relationships for the most part. There is a level of communication, a level of knowledge and awareness of your partner that people in vanilla relationships tend to shy away from because it is too intense. You need a psychotherapist that understands this.
You also need someone who does not view BDSM as a mental illness. The last thing you need is someone trying to cure you of your perversion. When you visit a psychotherapist that is not kink aware, you are the expert. The psychotherapist, in order to equalize the situation, may attempt to make you feel as if your kink is a perversion and not a lifestyle choice.
Armory Studios announces 7-week fall BDSM course. Participatory workshops open to all experience levels begin September 5. Kink Company performer and BDSM expert Madison Young is partnering with Armory Studios to lead a seven-week intensive BDSM workshop for couples beginning September 5. The fall course, entitled, “An Intimate Exploration of Dominance and Submission,” will include a series of intimacy labs, live demonstrations and hands-on workshops aimed at couples and triads — whether mildly curious about D/s relationships or well-versed in the lifestyle.
“This is a really unique journey no matter where you are in your experience,” says Young, who has been teaching sexuality workshops since 2004. “Each class builds on the last, and shows how each aspect — physical, emotional, technique, and negotiation — builds on the others.”
Unlike traditional Armory Studios workshops, the classes are not offered a la cart. Instead, Young has designed a comprehensive program with hands-on instruction, readings and homework. The course begins on Thursday September 5, and happens consecutive Thursday nights through October 17th.
BDSM Events. May 2013. MAY 4. Threshold (USA). Slaves for Passion (Holland). MAY 5. Maison de Sade (UK). The Baroness Fetish Retinue (USA). MAY 8. DomCon Los Angeles (USA). MAY 10. Torture Garden Boat Party (UK). Bound (USA). MAY 11. Bristol Alternative & Burlesque Fair (UK). Misbehave (Holland). Store Event (USA). Club St Andre (France). Torture Garden Birthday (UK). Impulsion (UK). MAY 17. German Fetish Ball (Germany). MAY 18. Club RUB (UK). Club Lush (Australia). MAY 20. German Fetish Ball (Germany). MAY 24. Fetish Factory 18 Year Anniversary Weekend (USA). MAY 25. Kinky Salon: Erotica Noire (Holland). The Gate (UK). Fetish Prom 2013 (USA). SubRosaDictum, official Party to the BoundCon (Germany). MAY 30. New York Fetish Marathon (USA). Lisbon Fetish Weekend (Portugal). MAY 31. Compliance (UK).
According to ER doctors, getting foreign objects stuck in your anus is surprisingly common. The items on this list are weirder than most, however. We’ve gone beyond the “usual” bottles and dildos to bring you these truly bizarre items that have all been found lodged in peoples’ bums. Something tells us that they didn’t really slip and “fall” onto these objects! Be careful and play safe!
It is impossible to say who the first people were with stretched ears, or why they did it. Today, many cultures (including our own!) practice the art of ear stretching for many different reasons. Religion, coming of age ceremonies, warding off evil, sexual enhancement and physical beauty are common motivations. However, that just barely scratches the surface as there are many other reasons, as well. People all over the world still practice ear stretching. From the Masai tribes in Kenya to the Huaorani tribe in the Amazon Basin, stretched ears are still a common sight. It is a fascinating testament of human culture that a Western youth can walk into a piercing shop to select stretched ear jewelry while a Hmong youth in Thailand selects from an array of silver tubes.
My girlfriend and I read your site, and I have you to thank for being comfortable enough with my kinks to tell her about my interest in BDSM. She has indulged all my kinky fantasies and discovered some of her own. Our latest adventure has her locking up my dick in a CB-6000 male chastity device. The play/sex has been super-fun so far, but we want to be aware of any health and safety concerns. We’re most concerned about whether restricting erections with a chastity belt can cause nerve damage, erectile dysfunctiom or other issues. Should I be concerned about having my erections constricted while being teased or wearing it overnight? We plan on taking off the device for sexual play, which we do about five times a week, so there would be plenty of opportunities for my guy to stretch out. Is there any issue with having the device on long-term while soft, in regards to the cock ring that serves as the back end of the device? If it is fitted properly, are there any negative effects to having this on for a day? A week? A month? I find it odd that manufacturers don’t provide more information about this. From what I’ve read online, there seem to be a lot of guys who stay locked way more long-term than I’m planning.
Lock On Cock Kausing Erectile Dysfunction?