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BDSM Adult Adultery

There are many married submissives and Dominants who include their spouses, by passive participation, in their BDSM activities. On a number of occasions there are husbands accompanying wives as they meet a Dominant with whom she wishes to play for the first time. The husband is there for a number of reasons, probably the first and foremost being the safety of his spouse. There are Dominants whose wives not only condones the lifestyle choice but who also are on a best friend basis with the submissive with whom he plays. It takes a very special person to fill these rather large shoes, a selfless person who realizes that they are not in a position to fill a need their loved one has, in some cases a total obsession.

Rather than choosing to ignore the situation and eventually lose the loved one they take an active part in supporting their spouses and in doing so make both their lives richer for the effort. The soul searching that both have endured. The endless questions that both must have asked and answered in their minds and to each other. The human frailties and insecurities faced and conquered. The honesty and trust required. The vanquishing of the greater fear. The fear of losing the person whom you love.

People say in return “Oh he or she is just incredibly lucky”… ah no. Incredibly brave maybe. Accepting of the need of self definitely. But first and foremost an adult. Luck has absolutely nothing to do with it. The submissive or Dominant, as the case may be, actually stood on the abyss of despair, plunged the sword of truth through the beast of doubt and brought their inner most secret desires out into the light for possible rejection by the one person whom they loved. That takes a very special person indeed. It takes an even greater soul to listen and accept they are not meeting the needs of the other. And then to actually do something about it? Want only what is best for their partner.

Granted some of these relationships, play scenes were not sexual in any form. Play consisted of humiliation, flogging, bondage, submission, D/s or Master/slave, animal role play. However some were sexual in content. This was also accepted as part of the agreement of play. A need of the person with whom they played perhaps. Safe Sex was adhered to totally. In most cases the husband or wife waited patiently outside. Not excluded, obviously loved and respected by all parties. Everything transparent, clear, concise, adult.

Adult Adultery is an Adult choice. It isn’t for the faint hearted. It is a risk and should be entered as such. Your whole life can go down the toilet in one fast gurgle. In this day of STD’s it can be like playing with a loaded gun. Not only your own life is at risk but the life of the innocent party at home also. This is something that has to be weighed very carefully. So keep your cock inside your pants or your panties on and your legs closed tight until such time as you do make an adult decision. Safe sex is and will always be non negotiable. A must. How could you live with yourself if you brought home a fatal sexual disease to the one person who trusted you. They have a right to know. Adult Adultery can be with or without permission. Permission is better. Who knows your partner may want to take part as well. More spice with three in a bed than two usually. Perhaps you both aren’t adult enough for that. Anyway for those of you who aren’t in a position of doing this, for whatever reason, with a clear conscience some tips.

SOME TYPES TO AVOID

The Demanding Woman: Two Types (Neither want marriage because they are probably married)

Type 1: Demands tangible proof of affection in the form of gifts.

Type 2: Even worse she demands less tangible things. She is having an affair because her husband spends neither time or money with her or on her. Consequently this lady demands that the Jack who she is having the affair with spend hours talking to her. This tends to eat into the time Jack has allotted for other pursuits. She then tries to make him feel guilty because he hasn’t bought presents for her although she doesn’t tell him – she expects Jack to know. Friction grows, arguments, recriminations until Jack decides: Who needs this? Adultery is supposed to be fun. Arguments he can get at home.

The Loser:

From the moment he first gasps your hand he starts to brood about when he will lose you. Well he has even got you yet so this may be a little unnerving. As time goes on he will drop things into the conversation “Eventually you’ll get bored with me” Then he will run through: “You’re too good for me”, “What do you see in me?” “My hair is thinning”, “If we were to split up you would get someone else easy”, “Your husband just doesn’t know how lucky he is”, “Do you think I’m too fat?”. If you stand by him after that, he will start to push you by calling 8 times a day and maybe picking little quarrels: “You were 3 minutes late yesterday, obviously you don’t love me” So Long. He has already started seeing someone else.

The Winner:

Sees life as one big roulette game. He – sometimes she – will have to have read more books than you, traveled more places (if not appreciated them more), have more money (or less, because money is rotten and a cop out), know more interesting people, be a better judge of wine, etc, etc. You are just SOOOOO lucky that you have been selected to be his or her Love Object. Winners often wonder why they spend so much time alone. It’s because they win so quickly. When you meet a winner, shake hands, pat him or her on the back and say, “You win” and depart quickly.

The Split Personality:

He does, and he doesn’t. He will and he won’t. He wants an affair – fascinated by the idea. He is simultaneously scared, guilt-ridden, feels that he is doing wrong (afterwards always) and is consequently taking secret vows never to do it again. He wants to be both swinger and pillar of virtue. He finds a nice single woman (a married one would require too much planning) and falls in love. The fact that he fell in love should be more than enough for her. That an a surprise visit every time the fancy strikes. (To him adultery like murder is so bad if it’s unpremeditated.) He tells her he may call next Wednesday. She cancels everything, cooks a meal, chills the wine, he of course doesn’t show. Then a week later just as she settles down with a hot wax of her pubes, hair in rollers, mud pack on her face and a raging thrush infection guess who knocks on the door or calls to say she can have him for four whole hours. The obvious counter move for the woman is to be firmly otherwise occupied. But it doesn’t really work. If she tries it The Split Personality is surprised, mystified, wounded, hurt. What did he do wrong? Then he does it again.



The Detective:

has to know every detail of your life. Star Sign, blood type, names and ages of all your children. How you proposed to your wife. What do you eat for breakfast. Hard or soft toothbrush. Does she care about your political opinion? No. She wants you know where you buy your underpants. Does she want to hear the joke you heard at work today? No. She wants to know exactly where you were at 11.15pm last Friday. Sooner or later you become nervous with all the questions and you start to lie. “I was at the movies and I have 12 witnesses”, “My children don’t have names only numbers”. Only way to get rid of the Detective is to call and say: “I have been arrested for a gross act of perversion on a duck and the police are looking for you as a witness. Sorry I had to tell them I was with you. I needed an alibi.”

The Novelist:

Every adulterer knows letter writing is a big mistake, very big mistake. But this doesn’t stop the novelist. They insist on writing you letters. If you managed to stop them from sending them to your home or office they will write them anyway and hand them to you. Good letters usually, with long descriptive passages about, the weather, their mood, the charming incident they saw to day that remind them of you. One day someone who shouldn’t be will be reading them.

The Male Confessor:

a very, very dangerous type. If things start to go wrong or his conscience starts to bother him, the first thing he does is run off and tell someone all about it. Someone like his wife or your husband. If he was satisfied with his dentist or psychiatrist it may be alright but no it is usually one of the above he tells. He is not an adult adulterer at all, but an emotional sadist out for long term revenge. Getting caught is half the fun. He is really trying to get back at his wife for whatever reason. You can tell this type immediately. He will mumble just after sex as you cuddle and hug, “I really shouldn’t be here”, or tell you just how much he loved his last lover. Or he write letters, which means subconsciously he wants to be caught because he enjoys all the hell that will break loose. His wife usually takes him back, sees you as the slut who lead her husband astray and now your husband is wondering why they don’t invite you both to their house anymore.

The Female Confessor:

She suddenly gets mad because it’s St. Swithin’s Day and you forgot to send her a card. St Swithin’s day is the anniversary of the day you stopped for your first cup of coffee together at Peeler Syths Deli. For god’s sake how could you forget. So she calls your wife and says, “Hello, my name is Rita you don’t know me but…” When you get home there are all your belongings sitting in the driveway and all your wife will say is “Who’s Rita?, you prick” over and over again until your head hurts and you know you are in big trouble. Of course it is over with Rita – even she has begun to realize that now and she is crying because of what she’s done – meanwhile you are trying to work out how to crawl your way back into the house. Rita is usually (1) single so nothing can happen to them and (2) very dumb. Watch out for dumb girls. They also usually get pregnant and call you at the office a lot.



Men of a Lower Station in Life:

This is usually a mistake often driven by pure lust, a weak moment, a temptation not resisted. But he had the best bum. It usually turns out to be very dull. No conversation at all and he can’t wait to boast to the boys at work relating all the gory details of how you went down on him in the spa, begged him to fuck you up the arse and barked when you cum. You immediately get a write up in The Tradesmen’s Weekly and your husband will start to wonder why they all leave their tools behind and not send him a bill.

SOME DO’S AND DON’TS

Don’t become a friend of the family. Avoid the temptation to get everybody together. Introducing husbands and wives to lovers. This is not adultery, this is sick.

Don’t indulge in true confessions. Honest is OK. But don’t tell your lover all the gory details of past love affairs. Life before them didn’t exist anyway. Will they believe that? Yes.

Don’t flirt with sudden death by insisting your lover take you to a restaurant that is frequented by your husband or wife and all their best friends, even if it is your favourite restaurant.

Do if you feel the magic going out of your extramarital affair invent a fantasy life. However it probably would have been good to at least try this with your wife or husband prior to having an affair.

Don’t get involved with your best friend’s husband/wife. It has been proved beyond any doubt friendship outlives romance. If you drop him/her you won’t be able to remain friends with your best friend as he/her won’t want you around. If he /she drop you, you’ll have to go on smiling through your tears of rage. Either way it doesn’t work.

Do make complimentary remarks, contrary to popular belief, flattery is the sincerest form of flattery. Women: make personal remarks about his appearance (men love it) Men: flatter selectively. Tell the smart ones they are pretty, the pretty ones they are smart. You can’t go wrong.

Don’t call home in the presence of your lover. The sound of your domestic – the married voice – will have an effect. Keep things separate.

Don’t imitate your rival. He or she has one of those.

Don’t be hostile to your lover’s partner. No matter what your lover says about them you never criticize. It is not enough to not express hostility, you ideally shouldn’t feel it either.

Don’t EVER complain about your own spouse. This shows a lack of character after all it was your choice.

Don’t try and make your lover jealous. Most people are insecure anyway… why make them more insecure.

Do on the other hand remember to give little snarls of jealousy occasionally about the platonic friend your lover goes to the movies with. Too much jealousy is a disaster, none at all is an insult.



Don’t play games socially with her husband. If you do, don’t win.

Don’t start wishing they could stay over for dinner or sleep over. Maybe the husband or wife waiting at home would miss them if they did.

Do put her picture on your dressing table. It will make her nervous, but she will like it. Don’t do this if you share your dressing table with your wife. She won’t understand and definitely won’t like it.

Don’t make funny phone calls, “Hello this is the Acme Garage can I speak to…” Her husband or his wife will of course question. No one expects the Spanish Inquisition.

Don’t have an affair with your boss. Not unless you don’t like your job and you have another lined up. However his Boss is a possibility.

Do shower using the same soap you use at home. Bring it with you. Women can smell a new fragrance at 500 metres.

Don’t have love bites, scratches, bruises, haircuts or shaved pubes you can’t explain away fully.

Don’t start wearing clothes that are totally out of character. Older men in hipster jeans with low crotches. Older women in short elastic dresses that ride up.

Don’t call the wrong name when you cum with your wife/husband.

Don’t get events or times mixed up and start asking your wife/husband just what was that meal we had again the other night at the Restaurant?

Don’t ever say to the wife/husband “We have been here before haven’t we?” unless you have.

Don’t use your Eftpos card in strange places. Remember the bank statements now read like a Gregory’s Street Directory.

Don’t pay by credit card for the same reasons.

Don’t forget the mobile phone records are just as deadly.

Do stop the car miles from home and take the time to inspect the ashtrays, glove compartment, floors, especially under seats for anything that give the game away. If they ever say has anyone been in the car. Always answer “Yes” because the next question if you don’t will be: “Hmmm why has this cigarette butt got lipstick on the tip” OR “There is an opened condom wrapper under the seat”

Do buy flowers and chocolates for both. Women love flowers and chocolates. Make it part of the norm and not out of the ordinary.

Women seeking an affair ALWAYS fly first class. It is the home of prosperous and sometimes important men usually without their wives. A convivial atmosphere, where the booze flows freely and where you as a woman will be immediately labeled as very rich or an important business executive, neither of which will ever do you harm. Then there is the old standby “I’m just terrified during takeoff. Would you hold my hand?” On the other hand tourist class is filled with honeymoon couples, nuns, mommies and daddies with kids who yell a lot and get sick, and 21 year old sailors clutching pictures of their girlfriends.

Men seeking an affair make her smile, better still make her laugh. There probably aren’t many laughs to be had at home.



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