BDSM Articles
Today, 2 June 2010, is the 270th anniversary of Marquis de Sade birth. The French writer of psychological and philosophical works Donatien Alphonse François, Comte de Sade (1740-1814), was a libertine, debaucher, pornographer, and famous sadist. Recently, new interpretations of his life and writings have begun to appear. It is now generally agreed that despite his reputation, his works, which were ignored for over a century, must be considered as of the first rank. Sade has been termed the “most absolute writer who has ever lived.”
Contrary to diffused opinion he didn’t “invent” sadism – it existed before that – but he did lend his name to the practice of deriving sexual pleasure from inflicting pain.
Very little is known of Sade’s life. Donatien Alphonse François de Sade was born on June 2, 1740, in Paris into an aristocratic family. He was the only surviving child of Jean-Baptiste de Sade and his wife Marie-Eléonore de Maillé, a distant cousin of the Prince de Conde. His family had been ennobled in the 12th century and remained a major power-broker in the southern region of Provence.
He grew up on various country estates, including an ancient castle with a dank, miserable dungeon, which no doubt played a factor in his developing psyche. Aged four, de Sade was sent to Avignon into the care of his uncle, Abbe de Sade, whose sexual life was notoriously irregular. After this period de Sade attended the Jesuit college of Louis Le Grand. Unlike the current Catholic school setup, in which youngsters are subjected to mostly mental abuse and surreptitious molestation, the Jesuits of the day included public whippings as part of the daily routine.
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A collar in BDSM lyfestyle is not something to be given lightly. It is symbolic of a serious commitment of ownership and bears the same importance as a wedding ring. A collar symbolizes not only ownership, commitment, love and devotion, but embodies the qualities of honor, respect and trust.
Collars can be made from lighter materials such as cotton, or heavier materials such as leather. Most traditional collars are made of leather or metal and have a ring(s) embedded in them. There are also collars made specifically for show, these are usually more ornate in design and not meant to use in bondage, though some can be depending on the construction. As the wearing of a traditional collar can interrupt with work and other real life duties, some submissives wear chokers. These can be pearls, ribbons, a cameo or some other close fitting necklace. Collars often feature buckles, straps and hooks, padlocks and other attachments. Steel collars are also worn by some and lockable (metal) necklaces are also regarded as a form of collar. A very few even choose to wear permanently locking collars (these click into place and have no unlocking key), that cannot be removed except by cutting the steel.
Below are examples of the several different types of collars often presented.
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Wax play is a form of sensual play involving warm or hot wax usually dripped from candles or ladled onto a person’s naked skin. Hot wax in sex play is used to increase adrenalin and thus arousal. It is a very distinctive and unique sensation. Very intense, but concentrated in a very small area. Hot wax applied improperly is dangerous. Using the wrong melting point wax and/or not checking temperature of the molten wax can result in up to third degree burns, requiring immediate attention by a physician.
The first and most apparent danger with hot wax play is burns. Candle wax for BDSM play should not cause burns. The exact temperature of a candle flames depends on the material being burned. Different waxes will have different flame temperatures. On average, the maximum flame temperature will be about 2550 deg F. The degree of heat of the dripping wax varies depending on the materials from which the candle is constructed.
There are many different types of candles available. Use plain 100% paraffin candles, these burn at a safer temperature for hot wax play. Beeswax is the hottest. Avoid beeswax candles. Beeswax burns at a much higher temperature than plain paraffin candles and can cause burns. The melting point is much higher than human skin can comfortably deal with. Some experienced players do use this type of candle. It can cause second or third degree burns. Avoid beef tallow candles. Wax made from animal fat can be extremely hot and cause burning. Avoid candles with metallic colors. These often contain poisonous metalic salts. Avoid candles with metal wicks, metal wick can drip hot molten metal on the submissive. Avoid scented candles. Scented candles burn at a higher temperature and may cause scalding. Perfumes, hardeners, and other additives can, and have, caused serious allergic reactions.
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BDSM is not a solo practice. You need at least one other partner to safely satisfy that urge, whether you are dominant or submissive. Finding a BDSM partner is not easy and it takes time and patience.
There are many ways to find a partner. Ads in specialized magazines, social gatherings in the lifestyle (munches) where people in the BDSM lifestyle meet in a non-threatening situation. Also play party (private or public), introductions from other lifestylers, internet with forums, chat rooms (a good places to get to know others with same or similar interests) and dating websites. Some links with the biggest dating sites you can find below.
On the Internet you can find web sites and chat rooms in which there are people who are living a 24/7 BDSM relationship and they want the same for themselves. They crave that intimacy and bond that an established relationship has. They crave the sensations that physical BDSM activities give them, and the euphoria with which many people describe their sessions.
You should remember that there are about 3 times more men than women in the lifestyle. There are about 4 male Doms for every female sub and it makes the search hard. There are always a lot more ads for male Doms looking for a female submissive then there are ads for female submissive doing a search for a Dom. There are not many female Doms looking for a male sub. About 25 percent of players switch in some form. The best partner for a switch is a switch.
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The garrote, also known as garrote vil, garotte and garrotte – the execution device used by the Spaniards until the end of Francisco Franco’s dictatorship as recently as 1974. In Spain, it was abolished, as well as the death penalty, in 1978 with the new constitution. Originally, it was an execution where the convict was killed by hitting him with a club (“garrote” in Spanish). Later, it was refined and consisted of a seat to restrain the condemned person while the executioner tightened a metal band around his neck with a crank or a wheel until suffocation of the executee. With the handle the executioner slowly crushed the victim’s neck causing death from asphyxia.
The safe prototype of the garrote without movable parts is used now in BDSM play. This device is intended only to fix the submissive without causing an injury of the vital structures of the neck.
This device has a Spanish name because it was improved in Spain. It is not clear how complete earlier records are and even modern ones are somewhat patchy. But at least 736 people, including 16 women, were executed in Spain in the 19th century. 65 men and 2 women were executed by garroting between 1950 and 1974 in various parts of Spain. The first woman to be garroted was Juana Rivero in Madrid on the 3rd of November 1824 for robbery. Twenty seven year old Mariana Pineda became the first woman to suffer for treason when she was executed on the 26th of May 1831 in Andalusia. It was reported that the spike of the garrote pierced her neck and protruded through her mouth. Garroting was last used on the 2nd of March 1974, when two men were executed on the same day for the shooting of a police officer during a robbery.
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Missive by J & e (BDSM 24/7).
Big disclaimer: The following is based on our experience only. Neither of us claim any special expertise or knowledge.
Breast pumping and labia pumping are not painful. After the cylinder has been removed pumping is not generally physically intense for the person who has been pumped. And, the sensation is much more subtle than it looks. However to the touch or tongue it feels fantastic.
When e is pumped and the vacuum is strong an intensity can build. However, it is not so much painful as uncomfortable. The only time e finds it as intense or painful is at the beginning if pumped too fast or when, after a long while of being held under vacuum, there builds a soreness and discomfort, which is almost immediately relieved upon release of vacuum and removal of the cylinder.
It is important to not over pump initially, because the full effects of the pumping is not felt immediately. There is a delay as the vacuum continues to slowly draw tissue into the cylinder – for e, this is an interesting and somewhat pleasurable sensation and can last from a few minutes to upward of 10 minutes.
For e when the vacuum is released on her labia there is not normally a great deal of sensation aside from the actual release of the vacuum and removal of the cylinder – her pussy is somewhat desensitized by that time. However, to the touch (hers or mine) it feels very good to the hand and to my mouth and tongue.
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Tits nailing is a form of SM edge play involving hammering nails through the breast. Of course it hurts much more then play piercing because of the size of the nails, and also the hammering. But it can be done probably with a minimal amoung of pain. It is safe if done with care and forethought, with proper before and aftercare (antiseptic and keeping the wounds clean).
Nailing releases a flood of endorphins. And a lot of the thrill for both sadist and masochist comes from the picture in the mind. There you are held to something by your tits, you can’t move away there is a certain power in this for the sadist, and a total submission on the part of the masochist. There is a particular emotional/psychological dimension to driving a nail through a submissive’s breast or nipple that may be different in its primality and in its intensity from standard needle play, just as there is a difference, even, paradoxical or enigmatic as it may sound, a difference in intimacy, between the typical techniques of standard needle play and pushing a needle full-length into a girl’s nipple from the top or skewering her breast with a longer needle. Remember, it is never done without talk first with your submissive.
The nails used should be smooth and sharp. Infection is the biggest risk here. Therefore the nails used should be very smooth, with no microscopic debris that may be left in the breast. Ridges and twists found in many nails are good places for bacteria and other organic material to linger. Scarring is dependant upon a number of factors including, but not limited to, the particular characteristics of the flesh, any sort of stretching that’s done and the size of the nail. We recomend using small diameter round nails, like finishing nails perhaps (not screw nails).
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Chastity belt – any device intended to prohibit contact with or stimulation of the genitals. They may be used to protect the wearer from rape or temptation. Some devices have been designed with additional features to prevent masturbation. Today it is used in dominant/submissive and sadomasochistic relationships by people as a sexual toy. This article is dedicated only to female chastity belts.
According to modern myth the chastity belt was used as an anti-temptation device during the Crusades. When the knight left for the Holy Lands on the Crusades, he would force his Lady to wear a chastity belt to preserve her faithfulness to him. Unfortunately the chastity belt is not a medieval invention but a product of the over-active 19th Century imagination. There is no credible evidence that chastity belts existed before the 15th century, more than one hundred years after the last Crusade. There are, in fact, no genuine chastity belts dating from medieval times: all known ‘medieval’ chastity belts have been produced in the first half of the 19th Century. Most of the ‘medieval’ chastity belts on display in museums have been tested to confirm their actual age. These fake-medieval chastity belts are too heavy and the workmanship is too crude, even for medieval standards. The oldest design for a chastity belt that can be taken seriously dates from the 16th Century – but it’s just a design, with no real working models believed to have ever been constructed. The concept of a chastity belt itself is a lot older, but it was usually used in poems in a metaphorical sense.
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Needle play, play piercing or recreational acupuncture is an activity involving placing needles through the top layer of skin, or using needles for temporary piercings for the purpose of enjoying the experience rather than producing a permanent body decoration. Needles are removed from the body when the episode is complete, allowing the wounds to heal. Those who engage in play piercing may do so for self-expression, as a part of a ritual imitating mock tribal cultures, for the purpose of spiritual self-discovery, for sexual pleasure, for simple entertainment, raising awareness or relieving boredom. Needle play is considered edge play – the practice which involves significant risk of injury or physical harm.
Needle play or play piercing is different from regular piercing as it’s temporary and doesn’t involve jewellery. During a scene thin needles are stuck through the skin (close to the surface), possibly manipulated during play, and then taken out afterwards, usually with no lasting marks. It can involve one needle or whole rows or a pattern of them, sometimes laced together with threads. The pain received from a needle is a different kind of pain though. It’s more of a flash and then depending on the part of the body it fades to a dull throb and then nothing. But that initial flash is what draws to it.
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Within the BDSM subculture, different people use the words “submissive” and “slave” to mean many different things. When submissives say “I want to be your slave,” sometimes they mean only that they want to be tied up and whipped. Many professional dominants routinely refer to their (usually _not_ very genuinely submissive clients) as “slaves.” At the other extreme, there are people who want to be full-time personal servants, and who truly want to exist solely for their Dom(me)’s use, pleasure and convenience. And there are many shades in between these two extremes. The following isn’t intended as a rigid classification.
1.THE OUTRIGHT NON-SUBMISSIVE MASOCHIST or KINKY SENSUALIST. Not into servitude, humiliation or giving up control; just pain and/or spiced-up sensuality, on the masochist’s own terms and for the masochist’s own direct pleasure (i.e. turned on solely/mainly by one’s own bodily sensatons rather than by being “used” to gratify one’s partner’s sadism).
2.PSEUDO-SUBMISSIVE NON-SLAVE. Not into even playing “slave,” but into other “submissive” role-playing, e.g. schoolteacher scenes, infantilism, “forced” transvestism. Usually into humiliation, but NOT into servitude, even in play. Dictates the scene to a large degree.
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