Whether you’re working with pallet wrap, duct tape, or something else altogether, at some point you’ll have a completed mummy. Then what?

If your wrap is conservative and done with care, your subject won’t be in any discomfort. There will be no rolls digging into the skin, and the overall tension won’t be so great as to cause problems. Combine this with a comfortable temperature, and there’s no reason you can’t play with your new creation for a while.

If you’re working with a duct-tape wrap, you can try cutting holes somewhat smaller than the engorged nipples; when you pull the cotton balls out the nipples should follow. They’ll be snuggly constrained by the small hole, keeping them engorged and sensitive. Bear in mind, though, that the edges of the duct tape can become uncomfortable after a while; if you anticipate a long session, you may want to cut larger holes.

You can also gain access to other parts of the anatomy. A woman’s genital area is particularly easy to work with, thanks to the wrap being away from the skin at the crotch and between the legs. Just carefully cut away a round or square piece of wrap an inch or two across; you can then use a vibrator as shown here… or whatever else strikes your fancy.

As you’re pursuing these pleasures, keep in mind that your subject is completely wrapped in a (usually) non-breathing material, making it difficult for the body to cool itself. There may also be issues of pulled muscles from involuntary reactions. It’s better to be a bit over-cautious than to push too far and spoil things.

If your partner enjoys bondage and likes to have “quiet time,” you might consider going the other way: make your mummy as comfortable as possible, then just let him or her quietly rest. This isn’t total sensory deprivation by a long stretch, but it’s amazingly effective. You can add a pair of headphone-style hearing protectors over the wrap to help reduce outside distractions. Sometimes better is the old style “over the ear” headphones, plugged into an FM radio tuned between stations with the muting turned off; the quiet rushing noise can help blanket out room sounds. Foam earplugs that are inserted into the ear canal are even more effective, but you have to add these before you wrap, and they’re not easily removed in mid-scene if you decide you’d like to for some reason.

If you go the quiet route, you might be tempted to slip out of the room. Don’t. Remember, your mummy is totally helpless. If something goes wrong, a mummy can’t even call for help. You shouldn’t leave your partner’s side, not even for a moment. Their safety is in your hands.

Now, that’s not to say you can’t pretend to leave, if that’s something that would add to your play. Just stay on this side of the door when you close it, then slip quietly back into position. This can be a tremendous mind game to play with a mummified partner, but be absolutely sure panic or other negative reactions won’t be the result before you try this.

At some point, either you or your mummy is going to decide it’s time to end the scene. But how? Unwrapping is the obvious answer for elastic bandages, but it takes far too long for plastic wrap, and is a virtual impossibility in the case of duct tape.

If you can’t unwrap, it’s time to grab those bandage scissors. Find an area where you can start, like between the legs or through large nipple holes. It’s difficult to cut the skin with bandage scissors, but be careful not to pinch!

Once you have an opening large enough to get a finger through, start holding the wrap away from the skin as you cut. Plastic wrap tends to stick to the skin, and pulling it away by sliding your finger alongside where you’re cutting will allow you to move faster with less risk.

For a person who has a love-hate relationship with being tickled, for example, the soles of the feet might be freed early on. But when it comes time to extract your playmate, it would be better often start with the head. This gives your subject the opportunity to breath easily and speak with you (though don’t expect much conversation if you’ve done a good job and sent your mummy to subspace). Be very careful around the face, especially the eyes and ears. Work two fingers under the wrap here, one on either side of the scissors, and cut very slowly and cautiously.

And don’t forget there’s hair under there… you don’t want to give a bad haircut as a side-effect of the scene! If you cut from the neck up the side of the face and then across and back down, you can free the face and leave a “cap” or “hood” of sorts on the rest of the head. If you then proceed downward, cutting a slit towards the feet, you can eventually slip the wrap off the head without cutting too much near the hair.

Once you’ve slit the front, you can “peel” the entire wrap off. Go slowly; plastic wrap tends to stick to the skin; amazingly so, if the wrapee has been encased for any length of time without perspiring excessively. Duct tape wraps will maintain much of their shape, and a first-time wrapee often finds it interesting and amusing to look at the “cocoon” that’s left behind.

Unless you’re a perfectionist, the inner layer of a plastic wrap will be wrinkled. If your partner has been wrapped for a while, you’ll find that he or she maintains much of the texture of the wrap! A freshly-extracted mummification subject may have skin that looks something like that of a lizard; it’s a surprising and strangely attractive result that quickly fades. (Elastic bandage mummification, on the other hand, will leave the texture of the bandage as well as the spirals from the wrap.)

You’ve just extracted someone from possibly non-breathing material… someone you may have been keeping very much “fired up.” That probably means they are going to get very cold, very quickly. Have a nice robe or some thick terrycloth towels handy. Don’t count on being able to walk your partner quickly to a warmer part of the house; depending on how long and tightly one is wrapped – or how deeply they went into subspace – it may not be possible for them to move very far or very quickly for a while.

Move your partner to the couch and sit with him or her, quietly talking about the experience and helping with the “return to Earth.” Especially for a first-timer, it can be unwise to try to continue any sort of role playing. Drop the Big Bad Dom/me attitude for a while, and be there for your partner. More often than not it will be greatly appreciated.

At this point (after article 1, article 2, article 3) you have a basic understanding of mummification. The last step, most important – Mummification Safety – coming in the next article soon.

The bottom line to success in D/s type of relationship is the same as any – common sense. Common sense means you think and apply logic to all you hear. It means you think, and question again and again. You trust your gut feelings. All of that is what common sense is.

A submissive has to remember she is a person with rights and a mind and must use it. A Dom has to remember the same thing about himself as well as the submissive. A woman’/man’s submission and respect is not owed to just any man/woman claiming to be a Dom/Domme.

If you have never taken complete control of another person and experienced TPE, you are not a Dominant. But, you have dominant desires and urges, it is your nature or life experience has made you this way. Since you were not born with the knowledge, techniques, skill and imagination required to take control from a submissive. As a submissive, you have not had the experience and growth required in total surrender of all control and power with a Dom/Domme, you are not ready to take the role on without learning the basics first. Here are a few baby steps you must take without skipping to a first meet and session:

1. Ask yourself and expect to be asked by many experienced people delving questions such as:
a. What do you expect to get from D/s or BDSM?
b. What draws you to it?
c. Why do you feel you can only fulfill your needs in a D/s relationship?

You cannot possibly know what you want from another until you know what you wish to experience within yourself.

2. The next is to learn as much as possible about the choices opening up to you with BDSM. You can ask a thousand people within the community and they will give you a different answer for each question.

3. You will learn one universal truth, each couple creates their own definition of D/s and the roles they hold within their particular relationship. Do not be afraid to search for a partner who shares your views, values and philosophy of D/s.

4. Never settle for less than what you know you want.

You will come across websites and Emails telling you how to tell if you are a Dom or a sub. No one can tell you what you are. There are no easy answers and you should run from anyone who professes to know what you are or that they have the only definition of DS. You must decide for yourself if you are drawn to physical sensation to the point of extreme edge play or if you just want to play Tarzan and Jane. You must learn for yourself the differences between a Sadist, masochist, Dominant, submissive, Master, slave, Top, Bottom and where your needs fit into these options. And yes, there is a very large difference between them all.

There are 2 kinds of people you must learn to weed through out of the legitimate men and women you will meet:

Predators and wannabes – these cancers of our society are in all the chat rooms. They have found the Internet to be a happy hunting ground for the gullible and lonely. D/s is not the only areas you find them, but they are here and have picked up on just enough of the lingo to try to pass for legitimate, experienced D/s people. They want to meet you ASAP and often commit rape, assault, battery and extortion with the belief you will have trouble prosecuting a man/woman you agreed to meet in a hotel or gave all your info to.

If you are married you are vulnerable as well to extortion and the like.

A sadist in the purist form who has not grasped the idea of consensual play may hide under this as well. These guys also hang out in play clubs looking for an easy mark, it never changes. Many of these people (both male and female) are often pathological liars who live on the Internet spinning fantasies of their experience, their love for the woman who speaks to them and basically everything to keep you hanging.

The end result is they often disappear after leading the woman on for months or meet her and have sex (get blowjobs as part of your subMission) and then things fall apart afterward. Some feel they are harmless since all they do is lead you on with cyber sex and online D/s. These same people role play in rooms where they “cyber whip” and subs pour ale for their Masters. They often have profiles that sound like a passage from Dungeons and Dragons or Gor chronicles. Pretty much all they know of D/S is what they have read in books and played online. In R/T these people answer ads or run ads and often just are out to get sex from women they think are easy marks.

How do you avoid them? First thing is the warning signs:

1. Instant messages from strangers – no self respecting, experienced Dominant or submissive would PM you without ever having established some rapport in a chat room. Predators, Wannabes and bored Snerts are the ones who PM you in an attempt to talk. They find you three ways. One, they just hit the “who’s chatting” button for a room and then PM anyone they think is a female (many are too lame to read your profile). Two, they PM you from inside the chat room after they figure out who you are. Three, they do an advanced search for any and all women online with the key words “submissive,” “D/s,” “Surrender,” etc.

2. Call Me Sir! – No experienced Dom/Master will tell you to call him Master or Sir, Lord without having met you and established a D/s relationship. To many in the D/s community this is equivalent to calling a man you met online, Husband. It is a position of respect and commitment not to be thrown around lightly. If you are talking to someone who is encouraging this title use and you have not met them in person and covered basics, you are with a Wannabe… period!

3. Online collaring and/or assignments – try to imagine an email sent out by a “Dom” who gives assignments to his “sub” each day with the comment that “one day, they will meet.” His contention is that if a woman does this or is attracted to doing these assignments, she is a submissive if not?

Fetish Community. Registration is free. Just fill in the form, enter your e-mail and confirm the letter you’ll get. Then you can access to member search and busy message boards where you can meet other like minded people.

No one has any business giving you any orders or assignments without having established a foundation of trust and mutual knowledge of one another as people first. Real Doms don’t demand or even want your subMission after meeting only once. Real Doms get to know you and know that total subMission takes time. The faster you are pushed for obedience, etc., the more your “common sense alarms” should be going off.

Beware of the “Mentors and Trainers” that abound on the Internet. This is another term for “let me use you without commitment.” Do you need a mentor or trainer to “date” to find a boyfriend or a husband or spouse? No – Life teaches you – and the same is true in D/s you will learn from many – to “commit” to one, even as a trainer, is a committment you aren’t ready to make. No one could have “trained” my wife/sub to surrender to me as I wish. You will find that there are many goodhearted people online who will freely share their knowledge and experience without the need for titles or blowjobs. Stear clear of those who put in their screen name and profile “trainer”… “mentor”… “protector”. Anyone who knows their true value and the contribution they are making to you does not need a title. The real teachers out there are your peers, yourself, and the right person when the time comes.

If you are single, be cautious of all the married people who want a Dom/sub on the side. Use every means possible to be sure of the honesty of the person before you get caught up in their life. If you are married be honest about your position and be cautious of who you reach out to. You also need to define whether you are polyamorous or monogamous. Take every step possible to know where the potential Dom/sub you are talking to is coming from on these values and others. It is not part of your subMission to sell yourself short, settle or be used.

To Doms/Dommes, you must admit to your inexperience and welcome any input you may get from all you speak to. There are social groups and societies in many metropolitan areas that offer classes and seminars on techniques to assure a safe experience for both you and your sub. Do not be afraid of being with an experienced sub. Remember that there are real experienced Doms/Dommes and subs online who will catch on to any attempt to pass yourself off as well seasoned and out you to the new subs.

To subs, you must listen closely to all who caution you with safety issues above all else. Pay close attention to the warning signs of predators and wannabes. There are no exceptions. No matter how nice and understanding a person seems, you got to listen to the warning signs.

Beware of “Doms” who focus their search on new subs, there is a reason for it and it lacks nobility and honor. Invite a potential Dom/Domme into a chatroom where you have been a few times and let the others feel him out. Never let a “Dom/Domme” you have never met and have no committed relationship with you tell you that you cannot take IM’s, you can’t go into certain rooms and you must put that you belong to him in your profile. This would be a wannabe.

Last of all, to both Dom/sub… read anything you can and watch in the rooms that do not role play. Discussion rooms that take on topics and feel free to ask questions. Good luck and be safe. Please feel free to forward this to anyone who may benefit from it.

A duct tape mummification is potentially more stringent than plastic wrap. Duct tape doesn’t stretch and is quite strong, so some care needs to be used in applying it. Done correctly though, a duct tape mummy will be just as comfortable as a plastic-wrapped one, but with less ability to squirm about.

A duct tape (or other tape) mummy begins just like a plastic wrap mummy; this is because you can’t apply tape directly to the skin without causing a lot of pain. (Even if your mummy is a serious masochist and you’re a top-of-the-line sadist, this might be more intense than either of you can handle. If you still think you want to try tape directly on the skin, try a very small (and hairy) area first.

Start the plastic-wrap mummy as described in the article Basic Plastic-Wrap Mummification Techniques. Once you’ve completed the overwrap down to the thighs – the point at which you’d help your mummy into a reclining position – set the plastic wrap aside and pick up the duct tape instead.

Begin with several strips running front-to-back to cover the shoulders, similar to the way you used the plastic wrap. Transitioning to the neck can be a bit difficult; the smoothest method is probably to apply short strips of tape vertically down the neck and a short distance onto the shoulders, chest, and back. A faster route is to lay down a strip half on the shoulder, half on the neck, and angled in more towards the center of the chest than the others. You may need to tear or cut the duct tape in a few spots to get everything to adhere smoothly. The rest of the neck can be done once the base is finished.

Don’t wrap too tightly! This is even more important with duct tape than with plastic wrap. You may be tempted to just wind the roll around and around your subject… don’t! Even the tension caused by pulling the tape off the roll can be too much when distributed across the entire body. Instead, pull the roll away from your mummy to reel off a few feet of tape, then gently wrap it around and smooth the tape into place.

Remember, you can always add more tape and make it tighter if you need to, but once that tape hits the plastic wrap, the only way to get it off is to cut it off. You’ll be spending quite a bit of time constructing your mummy; don’t force an early end to the scene by getting carried away.

If you do build up too much pressure, your mummy should tell you. Make sure your partner understands that he or she needs to tell you what doesn’t feel right. The goal is to have fun, not to “tough it out.” Across the shoulders, through the ribs, and at the knees and ankles are common problem spots. If you’re almost finished wrapping and your mummy complains of a throbbing shoulder, you don’t have to give up and start over! Simply cut a slit through the problem area using bandage scissors; this should relieve the pressure. When the problem has been alleviated, place a small piece of plastic over the slit, and then smooth on enough duct tape to cover the plastic. The repair job will be nearly invisible.

Now, start spiraling carefully down the body. If you’re planning nipple play later, use an indelible marker or small squares of electrical tape to mark the center of the cotton balls as you tape over them; otherwise, you’ll find it difficult to determine where to open the wrappings. Also, you’ll need to use your bandage scissors on the duct tape, unlike the plastic which can be torn open with the paper clip.

When you reach the end of the plastic overwrap at the thighs, take a moment to wrap your mummy’s head. Again, be careful you don’t wrap too tightly, being especially careful under the chin and over the eyes and nose. Don’t tape directly over the mouth, and leave enough slack that your mummy can open his or her mouth slightly.

Of course you’ll make sure not to obstruct your partner’s breathing in any way. In addition, use your bandage scissors to cut a thin slit in the plastic along the lips before applying a single strip of duct tape across the mouth. At the end of the strip, fold about a quarter inch of the tape back on itself to make a tab. Now, if a sinus attack or other problem that inhibits breathing occurs, you can grab the tab, pull that single strip of tape loose – most likely taking the plastic over the lips with it – allowing your partner to breath through his or her mouth. If the problem persists, you can use your bandage scissors to quickly cut the wrappings away from the neck and head.

Now help your mummy into a reclining position and pick up with the plastic wrap again. You can skip this overwrap and go right to the duct tape, but you may find it difficult to wrap the legs smoothly if they aren’t already immobilized relative to each other. Don’t forget the padding at knees and ankles as needed. Once you’ve finished with the plastic wrap, follow up with the duct tape to complete your mummy.

Now that all the tape is applied, go over your mummy with your hands, smoothing the tape. You’ll be surprised to find that a lot of the smaller wrinkles and puckers can be flattened out. This process also seals the edges of each strip to the one beneath, improving the overall appearance of the finished product. And your mummy will most likely enjoy the attention!

To be continued…

Needle play and piercing have only one single difference in actual activity, in that a piercing is intended to then have an item of jewellery placed in and remain, whereas needles are removed and discarded. On a more personal level however, the differences are vast. Being an invasive activity safety protocols are of course, paramount. (But hey, some of the jewellery is really pretty! It even comes in glow in the dark stuff so you can find your lost subbie in a dark room).

Needle play is sensation play. Depending on the placement of the needles it can range from medium levels, such as on the skin of a forearm, to incredibly intense when used on genitals or breasts. Needles can be placed singly, in pairs, in rows, in patterns. Generally when placing more than a single needle the process is quite quick with many being done in rapid succession. An adrenaline high usually soon follows and the needles are removed as it dips. If only left in for a short amount of time, there is in fact usually very little blood. (Course for those on blood sports and fetishes this can be changed!)

Diabetic blood testing needles are commonly used as they are easily available. Very thin, they cause the least discomfort when placed. Medical disposable needles used for blood test collection and the like, are a thicker shaft and are more likely to cause intense sensations. By pinching the fold of skin that is intended to be pierced between fingers before inserting the needle, sensation can be lessened during actual insertion (to of course that kinda defeats the whole point of the scene for some people!).

During needle play there may also be associated play such as saline injection. By using needles with dispensers, areas of the body can have amounts of saline added to them. Such areas commonly include the male scrotum, male breasts, female labia, etc. Depending on the area and the amount used, the saline can then be drained off, or allowed to be absorbed by the body naturally over time.

Piercing specialists are now becoming almost common among the streets of our towns and cities. Finding a good one however, is still as difficult as always and finding one that does it in scene even rarer. Many tattoo parlours will offer piercing services, make sure they actually have training in piercing however, n do not just see it as a different form of needle. There are internal anatomy issues that an untrained person simply can’t be trusted to get right.

Unlike needle play, piercing is a body modification, it involves changing the appearance of the body in what can be a permanent way. Unlike tattoos however, piercings can be removed at a future point in time! The marks from them however do stay and larger diameter piercings may never fully close. Some BDSM couples use piercings as a sign of their relationship and commitment to each other. Some use it for chastity purposes. Some like the way it sensitises the area of the body pierced. Many do it simply because they like the way it looks!

Nipple piercings are usually less painful for women than they believe they will be, especially those that have previously breastfed, however, yes they do hurt! Males tend to be quite discomforting. Nipples however do take one of the longest healing times of any body piercing and require substantial aftercare. In the most cases nipple piercings although often enuff done, are far more likely to be removed within the first year of wearing than almost any other piercing.

Inner labia can feel similar in pain levels to having the lobe of your ears pierced although for some they can be quite painful, depending on the individual. Being designed by Mother Nature to undergo the trauma of birth they have few nerve receptors in that specific area and are a relatively easy piercing. Also expected to withstand repeated rubbings during intercourse, this area has a fast healing tissue rate and requires only minimal aftercare compared to some other piercings. Some info about clitoris piercing you can find in our article Clitoris Piercing.

Associated with piercings are implants, small rods of plastic inserted under the layer of skin thru small slits. In this manner men can add ‘ribs’ to their penis. Some people have them in patterns along their arms, many areas and preferences. There are of course many other body modifications around deserving their own section of explanations.

Begin by deciding where you’ll create your mummy. A “dungeon” is a natural choice, but so is a bedroom: you can stretch your completed mummy out on the bed and even join him or her for a little intimate fun. Just remember that, once your mummy’s completed (or nearly so), if it’s going to move anywhere you’ll have to transport it… so choose carefully.

Once you’ve decided where you’ll be working, gather what you’ll need. For plastic wraps, you’ll of course need one or more rolls of plastic wrap. How many will depend on the length and width of the roll, as well as the size of the person you’re wrapping. You can do several mummifications with a single roll of pallet wrap, but it might take a couple of rolls of plastic kitchen wrap to get through one session. For duct tape wraps, how much you’ll need again depends on the length of the roll and the size of the subject. You’ll generally use about one and a half average-sized rolls of duct tape. In addition to whatever you’re wrapping with, you’ll need a couple of washcloths or other padding. If you’d like to engage in a little nipple play after your mummy is completed, add a couple of cotton balls and a paper clip… And don’t forget your bandage scissors!

Of course there’s one more thing you’ll need and that’s your volunteer, who also needs to prepare. A mummification scene can easily take 30 minutes to several hours. Unless you want your mummy to suffer, a quick trip to the bathroom before starting is highly advisable!

We’ll start with the chest and shoulders, mostly because the shoulders, neck, and head are the trickiest areas to wrap. Begin with one or two wraps around the chest, just below the armpits. This gives the shoulder plastic something to cling to, and makes your job easier. If you have those cotton balls handy, center one over each nipple as you begin your wrapping, so they’ll be pinned against the skin. Next, wrap over each shoulder. You can do this with one long piece or – if it’s easier for you – cut several pieces of plastic. Work along each shoulder until it’s smoothly covered.

If you’re going to wrap the head you can work up the neck now, or tackle this any time before you lay your mummy down. It’s easiest to use narrower plastic for the head. Try not to put too many layers or too much pressure against the neck, jaw, eyes, or nose… and, of course, leave plenty of space for breathing! You can place a layer of plastic and cut out breathing holes as you do so; this avoids the need for “precision” wrapping.

Once you’ve got the shoulders (and possibly neck and head) wrapped, return to the chest and wrap downward to the hips. A strip or two of narrow plastic through the crotch should be used to close this area off. Wrapping one leg is all it takes, or you can in fact just run a sheet of plastic between the mummy’s legs. If you’re a fanatic about being symmetrical, you’ll want to wrap both legs. For each leg, run the plastic down the top of the foot, across the toes, and up the sole of the foot. For wide plastic you can just fold the resulting “tabs” over; otherwise, make a quarter turn and wrap the foot, then wrap up the leg to crotch level.

If you want a bit more of the bondage aspect, wrap the arms as well; when your mummy’s wrapped arms are pressed against his or her plastic-covered body the two layers will adhere, locking the arms in place. To wrap an arm, fold the plastic over the hand, do a quarter-turn, and begin spiraling up to the armpit.

As you’re doing all this wrapping, be aware that plastic wrap has a tendency to “roll” at the edges, especially when going around curves (e.g., under armpits) or when it’s under a lot of tension. To avoid this, try not to put any tension on the first layer of plastic. When you go back with another layer, you can pull a bit more, since the plastic will tend to adhere to the layer underneath.

Once an edge begins to roll it will tend to continue, building up a ridge that is under a lot of pressure and can really dig into your play partner. Keep an eye out for these; if one occurs, make sure it’s not causing discomfort for the mummy. You can usually just cut through the rolled edge and relieve enough pressure to alleviate problems; worst case, you may want to trim along the edge of the plastic, cutting the roll off completely.

This brings up an important point: don’t be afraid to modify your work as you go. If you get carried away and put too many layers over the chest and your partner is having problems breathing, don’t hesitate to cut through most or all of those layers to relieve the pressure. The safety and comfort of your subject far outweighs the cost of some plastic wrap and the time it takes to apply it! And you don’t have to rip it all off and start over; once you’ve cut through enough plastic to alleviate the problem, just go over that area with a wrap or two and your mummy will be as good as new.

At this point you have a partner who is completely covered in plastic wrap (assuming you covered both arms and both legs). Now you’re ready for the first over-wrap. Position your mummy’s arms and hands wherever you’d like. Fingertips at the crotch give the submissive an opportunity for some genital manipulation; arms crossed “Egyptian” or straitjacket-style will feel more like bondage. (Watch out for uncomfortable creases inside the elbows if you go “Egyptian.”) For women especially, be cautious of arms at the side, since their narrower waists won’t support the arms and could result in excessive pressure on the elbows if you wrap too tightly. Beginning just below the shoulders, wrap down to mid-thigh, pinning the arms to the body. If you wrapped the arms separately, they should now be firmly held in place.

At this point, if you are working alone, you’ll help your mummy into a reclining position. Then, lift the legs and begin wrapping them together. Insert a folded washcloth or other padding between the knees and the ankles and then wrap the legs together, from the thighs down to the feet.

At this point you have a completed plastic-wrap mummy. Don’t be disappointed if your first attempt is a bit “rough” looking; it does take some practice! If you’re going on to do a tape overwrap – which I’ll be showing you in the next installment – the appearance of the plastic layer isn’t important. But sometimes plastic by itself can be very attractive.

Now, one last thing. Bend out the paper clip and use the end to gently pick open the plastic above the cotton balls, widening the holes as necessary. Pull out and discard the cotton balls, and you have access to your mummy’s nipples for whatever pleasures or torments might occur to you!

To be continued…

Mummification is a specialized form of bondage and sensory deprivation which involves wrapping the subject in some material or combination of materials. Mummification can be either quite severe or relatively gentle and comfortable, depending on the materials and techniques used. Regardless of severity, it tends to be one of the more involved “scenes,” as a full body wrap takes quite a long time to accomplish. But for those who enjoy it, it’s definitely worth the time and effort! Most people associate mummification with full body wraps, but the same techniques can be used on isolated body parts. For example, an electrical tape “head wrap” serves as an interesting and potentially severe hood, while arm or leg wraps can quickly immobilize a submissive.

The general idea is simple: you’re going to make a mummy, rather like what you remember from those old black-and-white horror movies. This is done by wrapping material around the submissive’s body. How you go about it will depend on your goals. For a gentle, comfortable wrap, you could use elastic bandages. If you want this to be more about bondage and helplessness, use duct tape over pallet wrap, wrapping the legs together and the arms against the body. For sensory deprivation, wrap each limb separately before doing an over-wrap… and you might consider inserting foam ear plugs before you wrap the head and cut off the mummy’s eyesight.

Some materials are fairly common in mummification, and they can be broken down into a few broad classes:

Plastic

Plastic is excellent for mummification, because it’s relatively easy to work with and tends to stick to itself. Since it doesn’t stick to skin (much), it can be used directly on the body, and is often the first layer of a more intense wrap. The down side is that it doesn’t “breath,” so it’s not the most comfortable material for the person being wrapped. (On the other hand, some folks love that damp sweaty sensation!)

Kitchen Plastic Wrap – Known as “cling film” in the UK, different brands have different characteristics. Saran WrapTM, for example, is fairly thick and won’t stretch far before it breaks, but it sticks to itself tenaciously. Dow Handi-WrapTM, on the other hand, is thinner and stretches more. Plastic wrap is now available in colors, and you can do some interesting “decorative” wraps by overlaying different colors.

Fetish Community. Registration is free. Just fill in the form, enter your e-mail and confirm the letter you’ll get. Then you can access to member search and busy message boards where you can meet other like minded people.

Pallet Wrap – Also known as “banding fim” in the narrower sizes, this is a usually heavier gauge, stretchy plastic that is used to wrap boxes to shipping pallets (among other uses). It’s available in narrow rolls that are easier to use around the curves and angles of the body, as well as wide rolls for quick over-wrapping. Pallet wrap is available in colors including black, but most mail-order sources want you to buy a case at a time. Narrow rolls of green and clear are usually available at hardware stores and U-Haul locations.

Shrink Wrap – Not to be confused with pallet wrap, shrink wrap doesn’t stretch much, if any. After it’s applied, heat is applied (with a blow drier, for example) and the film shrinks, clinching whatever (or whoever!) is underneath.

Tape

Tape has an adhesive backing of course, so it stays where you put it… good for mummification. Since tape also adheres to skin and hair, you’ll generally use tape as an overwrap, with something a bit less aggressive underneath. Most tapes don’t “breath” so, again, this isn’t the most comfortable wrap.

Duct Tape – The staple of mummification fans! Many, many wraps are done with duct tape over pallet wrap. It’s wide (so you get a lot done with each pass), it’s relatively attractive (standard gray duct tape makes a sort of shiny silver mummy, and it’s available in colors as well), it’s inexpensive, and it’s readily available at any hardware store. Duct tape doesn’t stretch, so you have to take some
care in applying it.

Electrical Tape – Made of vinyl, electrical tape (or upholstery repair tape) stretches to some degree and is available in bright colors. Some of the more expensive brands have an adhesive that’s well-behaved enough to use directly on the skin. Because the tape is narrow, it’s excellent for oddly shaped areas like the head, or where there are a lot of curves, like around the fingers.

Aisle Marking Tape – Not flexible and workable like duct tape, and not stretchy and narrow like electrical tape, aisle marking tape has one redeeming characteristic: it comes in stripes! Diagonal stripes of black and yellow, black and white, or red and white are used to mark off various industrial hazard areas. If you want a “Christmas candy cane” mummy, you’ll have to painstakingly apply spirals of red and white duct tape. Aisle marking tape, though, can give you the color scheme and the general “feel” of that… or of a bumblebee!

As long as we’re talking about this sort of thing, don’t overlook “message tape,” which is typically used to seal cartons. It doesn’t stretch and is difficult to work with… but think how appropriate it would be to wrap your mummy with tape that says FRAGILE – Handle with Care!

Packing Tape – Plastic packing tape doesn’t stretch and is very thin and tenacious… plus it tends to tear. It’s difficult to work with and isn’t very “pretty,” but it will do in a pinch. It’s available in a number of colors including light tan and absolutely crystal clear.

Metal Duct Seam Tape – This is literally a strip of thin metal with an adhesive backing. It wrinkles badly and, once wrinkled, you can’t smooth it out again. But it makes a nice accent if you’re doing “artistic” mummification!

Bandages

Bandages can be used directly on the skin and, for the most part, aren’t sticky (VetrapTM is a wonderful exception). Since bandages “breath,” the submissive will find these more comfortable than some other materials. You can even wrap the head completely, since air will pass through the bandage. Unless you use multiple layers, bandages allow a lot of freedom of movement for the mummy, which again means more comfort. Plus, bandages can be used over and over again, reducing the costs of mummification. The down side is that it’s tougher to keep the wrap in place as the bandages will tend to slip and slide (again, VetrapTM is an exception).

Gauze – This is probably as close as you can get to the classic “horror film mummy” look! Gauze doesn’t stretch much at all, but if you want an effect of “The Mummy Walks” for Halloween, this is a great way to go. Since gauze is very absorbent, it’s a useful base layer for encasement scenes (a relative of mummification) with, for example, hot wax or plaster of paris.

Elastic Bandages – Ace is probably the best-known brand. The simplest elastic bandage is just a strip of stretchy cloth. Some varieties have a bit of “tack” to their ends and will stick to itself; these are a bit easier to use. Elastic bandages usually come in a rough approximation of flesh tone.

VetrapTM – A wonderful product from 3M that comes in gorgeous colors like hot pink, purple, red, black… you name it, they probably make it. This material looks and feels more like crepe paper than anything else. It clings to itself marvelously, but doesn’t stick to other materials. It comes in narrow rolls and is excellent for wrapping the head or anywhere there are a lot of tight curves. It’s available from veterinary supply stores and often at tack shops.

Pre-WrapTM – This is a very thin, velvety-soft foam that is used in athletics under other wraps. It tends to cling to itself but doesn’t really “stick”. It can give an interesting milky, “filmy” look, but isn’t quite as comfortable as fabric.

SpandexTM – Nothing stretches like LycraTM. It breaths, and is available in fluorescent colors. The down side is that Lycra is fairly expensive, and it’s very “slippery,” so expect problems keeping the wrapping in place.

Cloth Strips – While cloth (like SpandexTM, mentioned above) isn’t the easiest thing to work with, it does open you up to a wide range of colors, patterns, and textures. If you have an old, worn bed sheet that’s about to head for the rag bag, try tearing it into strips and experimenting with it. If you want to try this variant, save it for a nice warm environment to reduce the risks from the chill of evaporation.

To be continued…

Few topics in the BDSM world generate as much debate as does the issue of punishment. Whatever form it takes, it is an integral part of every D/s relationship, and is the source of much misunderstanding.

It’s important to understand one fundamental thing about punishment. By it’s nature, it is something that is not enjoyable. It is unwelcome, to be avoided, and acts as negative motivation (“I’ll not do this because if I do, something I don’t like will happen to me.”) Many novices confuse “punishment” for something that is erotic and enjoyable: a spanking, a flogging – something desirable. But it is not. Punishment is not play. Punishment is meant for one reason only: to alter behavior. It is a useful and necessary tool, and exists in some form in every close relationship we have. With it, dominants can teach submissives how to behave and help submissives modify their behavior to better please.

There is only one fundamental offense: displeasing the dominant. Failing to do so or intentionally displeasing the dominant is grounds for punishment, and it is the dominant alone who makes the decision as to whether or not the submissive has been pleasing. Punishment can take many forms – from a disapproving look to a beating – and is limited only by your imagination and how well you know your submissive.

Is there too much corporal punishment in the scene? It is the easy way out for many dominants. Often it is a reaction, rather than something that is considered. It takes much more effort to come up with a non-physical method of correction. Many of us were brought up with corporal punishment, learning that misbehavior should lead to physical pain. Those social influences can be very powerful. In the long run, however, physical punishment is usually the least effective way to alter behavior.

So let’s work backwards one step. Ultimately, the goal is never to have to punish the submissive. Given their ‘druthers, most subs would really rather not disappoint or disobey. Most dominants would prefer that they didn’t, as well. From that premise, you can prevent a great deal of misbehavior by positively reinforcing the things you desire, rewarding the types of behaviors that you wish your submissive to repeat. This sends a clear message: I like this! Do it more!

We all know, however, that submissives are not perfect and the time will come when she or he displeases you. In these cases, the dominant must take action. Failing to do so teaches a submissive that he or she can get away with unacceptable behavior – that you are not serious about your limits or rules. As unpleasant as it is for us to punish the ones we love, it is part and parcel to being a dominant. What we often fail to do, however, is to consider intent. An honest mistake should generally be treated more lightly than outright disobedience. And just how fair would it be to punish for something a submissive does when you had not taken the time beforehand to properly instruct him or her on how to act properly?

If not corporal punishment, then what? First, whatever the punishment, it must fit the offense. Being too hard or too lenient are equally counter-productive. Use only the degree of punishment needed to achieve the desired results: behavior change. Something you should know is that merely learning that they’ve displeased is all the punishment many submissives are likely to need. Often, you need only point out how to please you and your submissive will make the desired change. The emotional pain your submissive may feel as a result of disappointing you is very often much harsher and more effective than anything you could reasonably come up with.

One alternative to corporal punishment is withdrawal. In this case, when faced with displeasing behavior the dominant stops the activity, points out the error, and by some means deprives the submissive of the dominant’s presence. It is critically important, however, that the length of that time should be clearly stated. Without doing so, the submissive may be left wondering if you will ever return, if you have abandoned them. It risks, at the least, an erosion of trust and possibly worse: emotional trauma. Such physical separation can have a tremendous impact on a submissive, so use it very carefully.

Another alternative is introspection. You should make known to your submissive that he/she has failed to please you, encourage him/her to discover what he/she did, and then provide him/her the tools to overcome that behavior. It is vital that the submissive, if at all possible, search for and find the behavior that was displeasing. This can be very effective in helping the sub take the lesson to heart; much more so than a smack from the crop.

Physical pain doesn’t encourage. It only sets up an association between a particular behavior and a painful consequence. The tools are something that submissive can carry with, physically or mentally, and apply to a variety of situations when needed. The old adage of “Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him how to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime” comes to mind. Corporal punishment is the fish, introspection is the teaching to fish.

BDSM Community. Registration is free. Just fill in the form, enter your e-mail and confirm the letter you’ll get. Then you can access to member search and busy message boards where you can meet other like minded people.

Is physical punishment ever acceptable? In limited situations, yes. If the submissive raises the issue on his or her own, expresses a need to be physically punished as part of the healing process, then, perhaps, it would be acceptable. It is often true that the sub would rather endure physical pain than the emotional pain of your disapproval or withdrawal. If this is the case, use it wisely. Ultimately, what form the punishment takes is your choice to make as the dominant. Combining elements of correction from several methods can also be effective. For example, if the submissive violates a term of your contract, you could have the submissive kneel (physical discomfort) while reading the contract (introspection) while you move to another room (withdrawal) for a specified period of time.

One common error you must avoid is intimate sexual contact immediately following physical punishment. No sex. Why? Because it teaches submissives that if they misbehave, they will get exactly what they want: Pleasure. For dominants who are emotionally involved with a submissive, punishment may be a difficult task. They may understand that it is needed, but hate to cause their beloved one pain other than in an erotic context. They may feel guilty afterwards or fear that their submissive will think the dominant no longer cares. These internal conflicts can lead some to move directly into erotic stimulation from punishment in hopes of reassuring the submissive. At first blush, that seems good, because it is important to reassure loved ones that we don’t punish because they are “bad,” but because we love them enough to correct misbehavior. There must be, however, a significant pause between the two events. If in one breath you are punishing your submissive harshly with a crop and then in the next, before the sting of the last stroke subsides, you are caressing him or her erotically, what are you really teaching? You are teaching your sub that if she or he can only endure this harsh, non-erotic pain for a few minutes, pleasure will be the reward. If you continue that behavior long enough, and you may well give birth to a pain slut (which is good, if that is what you both want, but isn’t good if you don’t). If you find that you are sexually aroused from administering punishment, you will need to exert considerable control over yourself so that you do not unwittingly reinforce the wrong behavior.

Know, too, that the submissive will probably feel remorse for displeasing you and will want to get back on your “good side” as soon as possible. One very obvious way of pleasing you is with sex. Once again, however, you need to ensure a significant pause between punishment and gratification – yours or your submissive’s. This will take tact and understanding, since most of us do not take well the refusal of our sexual advances. In addition, following punishment, the sub will likely be particularly emotionally vulnerable.

Ending a relationship as a form of punishment can cause severe emotional trauma to both parties, particularly the submissive. In only the most extreme cases should the relationship be terminated as a form of punishment. There may be some actions which are unforgivable. Those things should be clearly discussed early on. Don’t invoke it or the threat of it casually.

Whatever method you use, remember that correction is an opportunity for you to grow closer, to try to resolve disputes and preserve the relationship. Out of it, the submissive should grow, not have his or her self-esteem destroyed. Being cruel doesn’t make you a better dom, but it could very well erode the foundation of trust upon which D/s relationships must be built. Punishment is a tool of last resort. Use it carefully.

There is no way to spot a Dominant at ten paces. Unfortunately many submissives, and particularly novices, are impressed by these superficial things, making it easy for Dominant fakers. Anyone can learn to swing a flogger, talk in BDSMspeak, and wear 13 pounds of leather; but these do not a Dominant make.

If you want a quality partner you’ll have to take some time and get to know them. In some ways, choosing a good Dominant is similar choosing a good partner in general. In others it’s quite different because of the unique style of our relationships. They key difference is that when we go into subspace, we make ourselves vulnerable in ways that we may never do with a vanilla partner. This makes the D/s relationship far riskier and we must take extra care when choosing partners. Here are some things to look for, to avoid, and to ignore in your search for a quality Dominant.

A Dominant Is…

Respect

A quality Dominant shows respect to submissives, and to everyone. He or she asks questions about your life, listens to the answers, and doesn’t put you down.

Balance

A quality Dominant keeps a balance between their vanilla and BDSM lives. They can talk about their family, pets, other things that have nothing to do with BDSM. They have a sense of humor about the lifestyle, and don’t take themselves too seriously. Avoid Dominants with a chip on their shoulder, or who cannot hold a job or keep friends. Especially avoid people who complain about their ex partners or about everyone else in the scene. One day you will be the ex and they will be bitching about you.

Communication

A quality Dominant needs to be able to access their emotions, and articulate them. If they are the stereotypical guy who can’t express their emotional side, they will not be able to support your emotional side when the time comes. If they can’t control their temper, or they make a big drama out of life, they will be too self-directed to take care of you.

Consistency

A quality Dominant is as good as their word. If they say they’ll show up at 6 PM, they show up. If you are going to trust this person with your body and possibly your heart, you need to know that they will come through. A sometime Dominant is not an effective Dominant.

BDSM Community. Registration is free. Just fill in the form, enter your e-mail and confirm the letter you’ll get. Then you can access to member search and busy message boards where you can meet other like minded people.

Depth

A quality Dominant recognizes that D/s relationships have several dynamics that are very different, and sometimes far more complex than vanilla ones. Because of this, he or she should have a better understanding of human nature than the average Joe or Jane. Messing with subspace is a heavy experience. To live a present life you have to understand human nature. But to be a successful Dominant, you have to really get it at a much deeper level. Doing it with a shallow or superficial person makes for a shallow and superficial experience.

Competency

A quality Dominant does not need to know how to use every toy in the toy box, but they do need to be motivated to learn. A novice should not be doing high-end play like whipping, fire play, or knife play without a mentor to guide them. They should be knowledgeable about how to avoid sexually transmitted diseases, and have an awareness of first aid. They know that reading and fantasizing about BDSM is not the same thing as doing it. A good Dom acknowledges that he’s not the be-all end-all of information and encourages you to find information about BDSM from many sources.

Pacing

A quality Dominant doesn’t hit on you during the first date, and doesn’t discourage you from dating other Dominants until you are ready to make a commitment. They know that a good relationship takes time and that there’s no need to rush in or glom onto you. They also don’t try to “make” you submit before you have given permission to go ahead.

Fetish Community. Registration is free. Just fill in the form, enter your e-mail and confirm the letter you’ll get. Then you can access to member search and busy message boards where you can meet other like minded people.

References

A quality Dominant is known by someone. A novice may not have BDSM references, but everyone has friends and family. If they are totally in the closet and can’t even offer a vanilla reference then they might not be a good person to get involved with. Being “known” in the scene doesn’t guarantee that a person is a good Dominant, but they will probably be a safe Dominant. There are plenty of Dominants who have great reputations because of their technical knowledge, but have little to offer when it comes to the complexities of a real relationship.

A Quality Dominant Isn’t…

Lord This and Mistress That

In the days of the Old Guard, a Dominant had to “earn” their leather vest. Anyone who wore it could be considered a safe and experienced player. Today, anyone can call themselves Lady Bigcheese or Master Bigshot. Author Jay Wiseman writes in his article “Ten Tips for the Novice, Single, Heterosexual, Submissive Woman” of a submissive friend who “has concluded that there is also a strong inverse relationship between how many titles a man awards himself and how good a dominant he is.” Similarly if they make an “entrance” a la Scarlet O’Hara or claim relationships with many well-known scene personalities, they lose points on the respect-o-meter. Ignore the titles and look at the person.

Cheating on their Partner

A Dominant who will cheat on their partner, be it spouse or other relationship, will also cheat on you. A Dominant who lies is not a safe Dominant.

Toy Obsessions

Dominants who obsess about their toy collections send the message that BDSM is about the toys. It’s not. A quality Dominant does not need equipment to dominate, only a powerful and creative mind. Not to mention the Dominants who dangle multiple toys off their belt, especially when they aren’t playing.

Horndog on the Prowl

Many novice Dominants or vanilla horndogs view submissives as a quick way to get some free nookie. Wiseman also comments about another submissive friend who “has come to believe that there is a strong inverse relationship between how good a dominant a man is and how quickly he brings up the subject of fellatio.”

Bullies & Manipulators

Some people think that being a bully means they’re being dominant. Bullies tell you how things are done and get upset when you disagree. Adults discuss the options respectfully. A real Dominant doesn’t have to force you to do anything. Dominants who try to manipulate you into doing what they want are losers.

A Good Dominant May or May Not Be…

There are lots of things that people think makes someone a good Dominant, but in fact they really don’t indicate much of anything. They include:

You Are Turned On

Just because a Dominant makes you hot doesn’t mean they know a darn thing about dominating. It could be pheromones or maybe they remind you of an old flame. It doesn’t mean anything except that you are turned on.

Whether or Not They Initiate Contact

Some Dominants believe that initiating contact with submissives is their nature and so they always take the lead. Others believe in allowing submissives to be attracted to them. Neither is indicative of any innate ability to effectively dominate someone.

Their Ability To Write Well

Communication on the internet is predicated on being able to write and type well. Many intelligent people cannot do this, and many foolish people are unwilling to even run a spellcheck. We say “foolish” because writing riddled with wrongs makes a bad impression. This being said, being able to write well has nothing to do with being a good Dominant.

Privacy Issues

Dominants, and particularly men who do the same thing get less respect. There are just as many unbalanced women online as there are unbalanced men. Don’t give out your personal information, and also don’t worry if they won’t either.

What They Do For a Living

Yes, a stable person will have a stable job. But they don’t need to be CEO of some corporation to be able to dominate. There is a stereotype of the female executive submitting in the bedroom, and the male househusband dominating, but neither are relevant. If ambition is important to you, fine. But it doesn’t in itself indicate an ability to either dominate or submit.

Great Clothes

Anyone can buy fabulous leather outfits. Let them know how great they look, then move on to more substantial topics.

Assertive Mannerisms

There’s a huge difference between controlling situations, and controlling a person. Don’t be fooled by people who act assertive in public.

Charm & Flirtatiousness

It might be fun to flirt with a charming Dominant, but social skills have little to do with the ability to control.

Paying for the Date

I used to think that the Dominant should pay for the date because they were the Dominant. On the other hand, some Dominants expect the submissives to pay as an homage. A person may well be a fabulous Dominant, but is unemployed, low on cash, or may believe in equality outside the BDSM relationship.The person who asks for the date should pay for it. Don’t play games like waiting for them to pick up the check – talk about it up front and avoid games.

Anal sex (or anal intercourse) include sexual acts involving the anus, including pegging, anal–oral sex, fingering, object insertion, insertion of the penis into the anus of a sexual partner. Anal sex has been around for as long as sex itself. The anus was probably the second body cavity investigated by Neanderthal Man or maybe the first depending on the sexuality of the Neanderthal. The first of all Dominants. Take what he wanted when he wanted. Master of his domain. So, we are at a loss as to when it became a perversion or taboo, something dirty or demeaning, humiliating or forbidden. When the term “Stick it up your arse” became a derogatory remark rather than a term of endearment. Who knows these things?

Anal sex is not exclusively and solely something experienced by gay men; it is very much a part of lovemaking between heterosexual couples. Men and women of all walks of life enjoy anal sex as an alternative to vaginal lovemaking. It’s not for everyone, that must be clearly understood from the outset, but for some anal sex has become an added spice to their erotic play. Yet another sexual experience to be shared between two people. Be it a taboo one at that.

The biggest hurdle some people have with anal sex is one small four letter word “shit”. “Eat shit and die mother fucker”. Yet another phrase we have all heard. “Shit” however actually plays a very small part and can be almost totally controlled although the bacteria cannot be. So the next hurdle would be the preconceived notion that: “It is dirty”. Well probably not anymore than having sex during a woman’s period. Or screwing for two weeks and not washing. Which ever way you look at it we are conditioned from birth against anal play. To understand some of the rhetoric expounded against the act of anal sex we must first look at where it has come from. Religion? Community Standards? Historical Records? Probably all of these things and more.

Satan was often depicted in early woodcuts as a nude figure of strong muscularity disdainfully flipping back his tail to allow his anus to be kissed by kneeling women. Authorities disagree as to whether the orifice is the similar to that of a human or whether it is, instead, the mouth of a second face which Satan wears on his bottom. Puts a whole different slant on “Sit on my face baby”. So we can’t even agree as to whether Satan has an anus.

Contemporary writers and word-of-mouth witnesses constantly speculate regarding the anatomy of demons, paying particular attention to the penis (or penises, since some demons were reported to have had several). There is quite a variation of description regarding the size, shape, composition and location of these penises. According to the testimony of some witches during the Inquisitions, the demon’s tail (barbed in a phallic way) was actually his penis. Others said he had one in front and one in back – presumably to facilitate sex whilst coming or going.

“De Strigimagis”, written by Prierias in 1521, reports that every self-respecting incubus comes factory equipped with a dual penis in the configuration of a snake’s forked tongue. Aside from the Freudian associations here, it would seem that this two-in-one organ enabled the demon to copulate with one penis while simultaneously employing the other for the purposes of anal sex. There are countless references taken from those on trial for witchcraft during the Inquisitions of witches having had anal sex with demons, devils or incubi. The Witch and The Devil in Art. The super deluxe model of demon came equipped with a triple penis – a three-pronged affair similar to a trident. This versatile organ made it possible for the demon to engage in coitus, sodomy and fellation – all at the same time. It has been suggested that the tri-phallus is the origin of the pitchfork which the devil is often portrayed as carrying.

The devil’s complete lack of inhibition in matters sexual and his ability to become all things to all lovers made him a most imaginative bed-partner. One of the most bizarre expressions of lust recounted is by the famous contemporary sexologist, Ludovico Maria Sinistrari, in his volume “Peccatum Mutum”. He states that a succubus of a type which has an overdeveloped clitoris would often use this erect and formidable organ to bugger young boys. It was said that certain matrons of the time who were similarly equipped read the book and were moved to try out the technique on striplings of their acquaintance. It is reported that demons much favour the rear-entry approach or “dog fashion”. It was not simply that they could achieve more thrust and leverage in that posture; they were said to have been prohibited by “the powers on high” from utilizing the man-above, women-below (Missionary Position), a posture reserved for demon-free mortals who had been decently married in church.

Anal sex was very much an accepted way of life during the Roman and Greek eras, especially between males. During the Middle Ages anal sex between men was accepted by the general community. For us of recent times it seemed to start during the antiseptic reign of Queen Victoria, who’s lawmakers couldn’t find a way of broaching the subject of lesbianism with her, which is why it was never included in the same law statutes that made homosexuality illegal in the United Kingdom. The very public trial of Oscar Wilde, brought on by Lord Darwin, and his eventual conviction and jailing for the “abominable act of buggery”. What two words, “abominable” and “buggery”, could describe anal sex any worse? Paint an instant picture in your mind that what was done was worse than murder.

So the point in this limited discussion being there is a lot of ingrained feeling against anal sex which we must over come if we are actually going to partake and also enjoy the act.

Anal Penetration Positions

These are much the same as for vaginal sex. No mystery there. Your partner may have a position where he or she feels most comfortable. Don’t try for the whole Karma Sutra during the first play.

A lot of women like to watch what is happening to reassure themselves. So a missionary position with the legs raised just that little bit higher is good for them. Usually best accomplished by having them do this as close to the edge of the bed as possible that way you can kneel on the floor or crouch for entry. Perhaps place a pillow under the buttocks to raise the angle of penetration. Some prefer not to watch, in that case, lying flat on their stomach with their hips supported by a couple of pillows is good. This enables you to have more control as you aren’t worrying about supporting your weight and both hands are free to guide the cock or open cheeks.

From the stomach position, both partners can roll over on their sides, still facing the same way, with one leg drawn up. This is called Spoons and is a good starting position. It helps prevent the penetrating partner from going too fast, and allows complete control over penetration. It also brings you closer to your partner so you can judge their reaction to what you’re doing. It allows bodily relaxation plus free hands to explore and caress. Entry is easy and fairly deep though movement is somewhat limited. Vigorous thrusting is still easy once you get used to the posture.

Another popular position is for the male to lie on his back, bracing his cock with your hand and the woman straddles his legs and lowers herself onto the erect penis. Either in a forward or reverse position. Be careful the penis cartilage can be torn or sprained. (Dog breeders can tell you all about this.) In this position the person being penetrated has the control as to how much cock actually enters them and at what rate. The penetrator’s hands are free to caress breasts, massage the clit or masturbate by finger fucking the vagina while she slides up and down on his penis.

Rear entry or the ‘doggie style’ is the one position most people associate with anal sex. However, rear entry allows a penis or anal toy to penetrate most deeply, and may not be the best choice for the beginner. This position allows the deepest penetration and permits the receiver to better open the anus for entry. Rear entry doesn’t offer the kind of intimacy or ease of communication that the other positions do, but for more advanced lovers, can offer the greatest amount of thrusting and penetration.

Full front has the woman lie on her back, drawing her knees up to her chest and over the shoulders of the man, who presses down on her face to face. You can place a pillow under the pelvis to raise it even higher, or the man can push the woman’s feet over her head. This position allows for easy penetration and very deep entry.

Bending over is a standing position in which both stand up facing the same way. The woman then bends over at the waist, using a wall, table, or other support. This can also be done on the knees, rather than the feet, at the edge of the bed. When both partners are not of the same height at the waist, some adjustment will have to be made. This position is convenient to use outdoors. Great for over the bonnet of cars. It allows easy penetration and full movement if there is something solid to hold on to.

But the positions are endless… This is totally up to you and you should move around and experiment find which works best for you both. Hopefully if you are considerate and listen, your partner receptive and telling you openly what they are feeling, you will be thrusting away accompanied by deep moans as he or she experiences an anal orgasm.

Be responsible. Don’t cum inside anyone unless you have both been screened, STD free, in a relationship, monogamous and your partner needs, wants, desires the gift of your cum. Of course you would be wearing a condom anyway if these conditions did not exist.

Foot binding began late in the T’ang Dynasty (618-906) and it gradually spread through the upper class during the Song Dynasty (960-1297). During the Ming period (1368-1644) and the Ching Dynasty (1644-1911) the custom of foot binding spread through the overwhelming majority of the Chinese population until it was finally outlawed in the 1911 Revolution of Sun Yat-Sen.

There are several legends that endeavor to account for the inception of this custom, one is that the concubine of a Chinese prince named Yao Niang walked so gracefully that it seemed as if she “skimmed over the top of golden lilies.” At that time the “lily footed woman” or a woman with bound feet became the model in China. A second legend says that this concubine, Yao Niang, was ordered to bind her feet so that her feet would look like new moons. A third legend says that women bound their feet out of sympathy for an Empress with club feet. Yet another originating in the Sung dynasty (960-976 BC) in the court of Prince Li Yu, whose favorite concubine who was required to dance with her feet bound, toe-dancing an early variation of ballet, the royal craze moved down the social ladder, eventually reaching peasants who hoped to achieve higher status through smaller feet.

Foot Binding 1

Foot Binding 2

Foot Binding 3

Foot Binding 4

Foot Binding 5

Foot Binding 6

Foot Binding 7

Foot Binding 8

Foot Binding 9

So exactly what is foot binding? It was an attempt to stop the growth of the feet. In the first month of her sixth or seventh years she would have her ears pierced, soon after she would have her feet bound. Her mother would consult the lunar calendar to make certain it was an auspicious day for her daughter’s feet to be bound. If the girl’s feet were bound on the wrong day it was thought that the process would be more painful or that the foot would not come to the desired shape. The date was usually in the autumn so that the cold winter would numb the foot during the painful formation period.

Foot Binding 10

Foot Binding 11

Foot Binding 12

When the chosen day came about the mother would soak the daughter’s feet in warm water with herbs or warm animal blood. After they were thoroughly dried, all of the dead skin and flesh was rubbed off. The toenails would be clipped so that they would not dig into the foot after it was bound and thus cause infection. Then the foot was massaged with alum to keep it from sweating. After that, bandages two inches wide and ten feet long of white (or dark blue in poorer areas) cotton were used to wrap the feet. One end was placed on the inside of the instep. It was pulled across the small toes in order to force them in towards the sole. The big toe was left unbound, so that the finished foot would come to a point. The wrapping was then brought around her heel to force the heel and the toes together. This process was repeated until the entire bandage was applied.

Foot Binding 13

Foot Binding 14

Foot Binding 15

Foot Binding 16

Foot Binding 17

Foot Binding 18

Foot Binding 19

Foot Binding 20

Foot Binding 21

Directly afterward the mother would force her child to walk on the newly bound and painful feet. The bandage was tightened each day and the girl was put into progressively smaller and smaller sized shoes called ‘lotus shoes’, which were made of silk and were beautifully embroidered. However, even after the foot had achieved the desired shape and size, usually a time span of two years, it had to remain bound for the entirety of the girl’s life so that it would not try to heal. The result was it kept her feet from growing larger than 10 cm, about 3.9 inches. The cleft between the toes and the heels should be two to three inches deep. The foot should be narrow, fleshy and smooth, and come to a point at the toe of the shoe.

Binding the feet was the easy part, being bent so out of shape the feet required lots of care. The feet had to be washed and manicured on a daily basis. If they weren’t manicured properly the toe nails could cut into the instep and infection could set in. If the bindings were too tight they could cut off circulation which could lead to gangrene and blood poisoning. The feet had to be massaged and given hot and cold compresses to help relieve the pain and help improve circulation. If all this isn’t bad enough, corns would develop on the toes that were bent under and would have to be lanced with a needle and then cut off with a knife. With the lack of circulation flesh would rot and fall off and sometimes the toes would ooze pus. The pain was said to have been excruciating especially if this process was begun at a later age. The ideal foot would fit into a shoe only three to four inches long. A Chinese saying says, “Every pair of small feet costs a bath (kang) of tears”. It is difficult to imagine the suffering that these women had to endure.

Foot Binding 22

Foot Binding 23

Foot Binding 24

Besides identifying women of gentility or high-class, foot binding was a method used to control women during a time when women were regarded as little more than property. It prevented women from “wandering”, they were physically prevented from moving about freely and unchaperoned, and were thus rendered incapable from succumbing to infidelity and bound feet became a symbol of chastity. The thinking was that the bound foot, once it was formed, could not be unlocked like a chastity belt. These women would had to walk with very short mincing steps and could stand only with great difficulty. Although the bound foot was described as aesthetically pleasing compared with the natural alternative, complications such as ulceration, paralysis and gangrene were not uncommon, and it has been estimated that as many as ten percent of the girls did not survive the “treatment”. A young girl from a wealthy family would often receive a body servant at the time of her initial binding, to look after her personal needs during wakeful nights of pain and carry her into the garden when her feet were too painful to walk on. This often developed into a life-long relationship which provided mutual psychological dependency, as well as comfort, affection and companionship.

Foot Binding 25

Foot Binding 26

Foot Binding 27

Foot Binding 28

Foot Binding 29

Foot Binding 30

Foot Binding 31

Foot Binding 32

Foot Binding 33

Within the areas and classes in which foot binding was widely accepted, a girl of marriageable age with natural feet had only limited prospects for making a “good” marriage. Having a daughter with bound feet transformed the biological disadvantage of being born female into a distinct social advantage by increasing her opportunities for making a lucrative marriage. Her selection in marriage was the responsibility of her prospective mother-in-law, whose criterion for a good daughter-in-law was the discipline that the bound foot represented. She was fully expected to acquire considerable control over her pain, reflecting the ideals of civility, a mindful body and concealment. Failure to marry, they understood, was to have no life, since a woman had no purpose in Chinese society except as a wife and mother of sons. Perhaps worse still, according to Chinese belief, without a husband or children to tend their graves, these women could become “hungry ghosts” forced to wander the earth for eternity.

One of the primary allures of foot binding lay in its concealment, and to be acceptable a pair of small feet had to be covered by binder, socks and shoes, doused in perfurne and scented powder, and then hidden under layers of leggings and skirts. Women also attended to their feet in the strictest privacy, often washing their feet separately from the rest of their body to shield themselves and others from contamination. Only those privileged to the utmost intimacy were allowed to view the processes of cleansing and care, and women wore special bed slippers even if otherwise nude. Much of foot binding’s aura derived from this concealment of the physicality of the foot, mirroring the privacy requirements society and family placed on the individual.

Foot Binding 34

Foot Binding 35

Foot Binding 36

Foot Binding 37

Foot Binding 38

Foot Binding 39

Foot Binding 40

Foot Binding 41

Foot Binding 42

Foot binding had many physiological effects. It created an outside swelling of the abdomen, a line down the back due to the muscle stress and the lumbar vertebrae would curve forward. Foot binding forced a woman to focus her weight on her lower body putting a lot of pressure on the pelvis, which caused it to expand in diameter and to lower the height of the pelvis. It also caused the sacrum to be longer and wider. This practice not only effected a woman with pain but it also effected her entire body causing it to become deformed as well.

Foot binding was obligatory for aristocratic Chinese women and was considered erotic. The resulting ‘lotus foot’ was used in love-making it was considered particularly important for prostitutes and concubines to possess it as well. Some chinese men were also subjected to foot binding, in particular the adopted boys of adult homosexuals. Actors, male prostitutes, transvestites and female impersonators copied the lotus foot, by squeezing into lotus-like shoes and imitating the sensuous walk.

For Chinese men, bound feet became a sexual fetish and were said to be conducive to better intercourse. Smaller feet were a major erogenous zone. It was considered sexually arousing, the soft fleshy cleavage under the arch of the foot was the equivalent of the labia. It was believed that the way foot binding made a woman walk strengthened and tightened the skin around the vagina making it more narrow, highly-muscled, “full of wondrous folds”. A woman with bound feet had to walk with her weight on her heals her chest thrust outward, and her pelvis sticking backward. This led to a swaying seductive walk, and the muscles in the buttocks and thighes became more developed creating a more curvaceous body. The girls’ buttocks and “jade gate” were believed to develop to such a degree that she could grip her husbands “jade spear” more tightly. Supposedly making the man feel like the woman was a virgin every time they made love. Sexual positions were often based upon the manipulation of the bound foot. It also had the erotic enticement of sadomasochism, bondage and domination. A woman was weak because of her bound feet and could therefore be at the mercy of her lover, which was sexually exciting to many men. Furthermore, some men had odor fetishes, and enjoyed the smell of the feet. Extensive sexual guides specify countless special techniques involving the use of bound foot for sex.

Modern Foot Binding?

Modern Foot Binding?

Modern Foot Binding?

It was common to use the foot in foreplay. Many men took pleasure in kissing, sucking, and chewing the foot. They would place it on their bodies, or even eat from it. Men would also use the crevice of the foot to stimulate their genitals. It was not unusual for men to be aroused just from looking at the tiny silk slippers, with or without a woman wearing them. Men masturbated looking at tiny silk slippers. Men drank from the slippers. Some men would steal slippers, especially red slippers worn to bed by women. They fondled the tiny feet and slippers during sex. To some, the cleft in the foot was treated like a vagina. A woman with bound feet could also, supposedly, move around more easily in bed.

The foot was mysterious. Its furtive nature aroused curiosity amongst men. The Chinese female was concealed from men for most of her youth, hidden in the house. The hidden feet followed this idea of the concealed female. The foot was always wrapped, and even when women slept they wore slippers. Women’s feet were the exclusive possession of the husband and touch was avoided as it was considered an act of great intimacy. Chinese pornography of the past reflects a preoccupation with the feet, and the men who adored them – “lotus lovers” – became the authors of the classics of brothel culture, which describe in detail the various shapes of bound feet and the erotic practices in which they could be employed. Poetry and writings from this period express a great infatuation even an obsession bordering on perversion, tiny feet were celebrated in poetry and song. There was also a large number of pornographic paintings and engravings with scenes of men fondling women’s feet. It’s no wonder that men were so adamant about their wives having bound feet.

When Mao Tse-Tung first came into power, he denounced the leadership who failed to share his blueprint for revolution as “old women with bound feet.” When he later condemned the practice of foot binding, “pillow books” that described the use of bound feet in sexual activity still were commonplace. These books and other significant books and materials evoking China’s pre-revolution past were destroyed in the cultural revolution. Today, despite the fact that an estimated 4.5 billion Chinese women over a period of 1, 000 years are believed to have been subjected to the pain of foot binding, there is no evidence of even a single pair of bound feet shoes being on view in any Chinese museum.

If you wish to get some idea of what these women actually went through, purchase a roll of elastoplast adhesive tape, place a tennis ball in the arch of your foot and tape the ball to your foot. Try walking around the room with your toes retracted towards the soles of your feet or better still tape your toes into that position. We will take bets you don’t get very far or last any length of time.