There are many ways you could break down these forms, below breathplay is devided into three categories.

- Compression of the carotid arteries

- Compression of the trachea or wind pipe

These two are often combined, for example when trying to stop bloodflow in the carotid arteries you may be applying pressure to the trachea.

Throttling with the hands and strangling with a rope share the same risks however when using the hands pressure can be controlled more easily. A hanging scene is more dangerous again with the subs body weight applying the pressure to the neck, tip toes will work as well as being off the ground. First the sub needs to be firmly on the ground then the rope removed. You cannot trust that you will be able to remove the rope with your hands. Always have EMT scissors ready. Never drop a sub into hanging as this could damage the spinal cord.

If the purpose is to reach unconciousness a stranglehold is very effective and can achieve this in roughly three seconds. This is much more comfortable for the sub.

- Other play that restricts airflow

Hand over mouth – putting your hand over a partners mouth during sex is probably the most common form of breathplay. The hand can form a tight seal with the option of blocking the nose to increase the intensity. This is a good place to start for beginners to breathplay especially in the missionary position where the Top can watch the bottoms reactions.

Bagging – many plastic bags have holes in them to prevent children suffocating once you have found a bag without these holes you can begin bagging. Thinner bags can be used but it is possible for the sub or Dom/me to rip through them with hands or teeth. This may be preferable if you are trying it for the first time for a sense of security. A thick bag is difficult to rip through as the plastic thins and stretches before it tears. A pair of EMT scissors should be on stand by especially if you have taped the bag. Choosing a clear bag is important as it allows you to watch the sub’s reactions. If they insist on darkness a blindfold can be added under the bag.

When bagging you do not need to tape the bag. Some feel that taping the bag adds an inescapable element to the session making the experience more authentic however the dom/me can tighten the bag around the neck with the hands which still restricts the air but has the bonus of being able to remove the bag much faster without removing the tape.

It is important to remember that if the sub panics and thrases around it will be more difficult to remove the bag. Another important point is that the sub may suck the plastic into their mouth, this can cause panic as the bag has blocked the airway.

Rebreathing – is breathing the air from the breath you have just expelled. The oxygen in the air diminishes with each recycled breath. Rebreathers are used in vanilla applications such as diving, these are unsuitable for breathplay as they add oxygen at intervals to replace what is lost. BDSM rebreathers can be purchased online they are masks with a bag that inflates and deflates as you breathe. The Dom/me can squeeze air out of the bag or hold it to stop it refilling to control the play.

Dunking – holding someone underwater immediately stops them breathing in. The experience is very disorientating with the obvious risk of drowning. It is very difficult to guage a sub’s reactions and you certainly could not rely on bubbles in the water as an indicator of what is going on.

Shared breathing – when a couple exchange breaths so that the first breath of air is passed between them. This can be done mouth to mouth for a very intimate scene or by connecting gas masks with the right tubing and connectors. The principle is the same as rebreathing where the oxygen is diminished when recycling the air.

Suffocation – forcing someone’s face into a pillow is a form of suffocation and is often done during rough sex. Putting a pillow over someone’s face is a very different feeling, it is altogether more claustrophobic. Facesitting can also be used to suffocate, the male equivalent being gagging on cock while the nose is pinched.

Holding your breath is the safest form of breathplay as the body will breathe automatically should you pass out. You must still guard against falling.

It is possible to tightlace a corset to induce fainting. The corset would need to be steel boned for this and will incumber breathing with even a small waist reduction. Your partner will need to be proficient in lacing a corset in order to undo it quickly enough, failing that the laces would need to be cut to release you.

Whatever form of breathplay you practice the following tips will help you make your play safer:

Keep eye contact, total enclosure masks and blindfolds are much loved by subs but eye contact is the easiest way to tell where your sub is. Drooping eyelids as if falling asleep tell you they are nearing unconciousness, you may want to try to keep them in this stage. Suddenly wide eyes are a sign they are about to black out if you do not want them unconcious restore air now. If there eyes close after this assume they are out and restore air. If the sub didnt reach unconciousness they will still experience a buzz from being so close.

As you cannot use a safeword you can get the sub to tap out when uncomfortable, using a safe gesture is not advisable as the sub may not be able to think straight. If in bondage have them hold an object; when they are passing out their grip will loosen and the object will fall.

Make the space safe by moving objects out of the way and have a cushion ready for the sub’s head if they want to lie down afterwards. To avoid the sub falling, play on a chair or better yet the floor. This is especially important if you cannot easily support the sub’s weight. The sub may fall even if they are not losing conciousness.

How does breathplay feel?

For the Top breathplay is a huge responsibility as you literally have a life in your hands, a balance needs to be striked where this is kept in the back of your mind without ruining the scene. Similarly for bottoms who are trusting you with their safety they must be aware of the risks without the fear of what could go wrong spoiling the fun.

Methods such as rebreathing feel slower and relaxing for both parties. The sub may space quickly and feel as if they are drugged or in a trance, slipping slowly into unconciousness.

Methods such as strangulation feel like a short rush, they are very intense for both parties. It feels more aggressive and really plays on physical strength of the d/s dynamic. The sub struggles feeling the tightness around the neck, the blood pounding in the head, they still cant breathe and their struggles are futile, then the realisation that they are passing out. The Dom/me puts the pressure on and there is a satisfaction in that. They watch the sub struggling, the struggling becomes weaker and the eyes widen as they realise they’re about to knock out.

Coming to is a confusing time, this is also true for regaining from the brink of unconciousness. The dom/domme needs to reassure the sub as for a moment they may not be aware of where they are. Note that waking in bondage can add stress to this confusion.

How safe is breathplay?

This question is highly debatable and is too big to be discussed here. The writing of Jay Wiseman on the topic is prevalent on the web but there are many others who would counter his view so read widely.

It is certainly safer to play with a partner as a lone player cannot remove a bag or rope if they pass out. Learning basic CPR would obviously be beneficial but this is not to be considered a safety net.

The risks of breathplay are:

Ruptured or inflamed trachea

Laryngitis

Fracture of the larynx

Damage to bloodvessels

Stroke

Spinal damage

Seizures

Cardiac arrest

Death

Strangling and hanging carry more of these risks than some other methods such as rebreathing. This is because of the pressure put on either the trachea, carotid arteries or both. This is not a definitive list however from it we can see that those who are prone to seizures, at risk of heart attacks and other vulnerable groups such as pregnant women should not practice breathplay.

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The rack is probably one of the most infamous torture devices since it was in use for a very long time. This device was more of an actual machine than anything. No torture chamber would be complete without the rack, known throughout the world by different names: to the Romans it was “equuleus” (young horse); the French named it “Banc de Torture”, to the Spanish it was “escalera” (ladder), Germany knew it as “Streckbank” (stretching frame) or “Schlimme Liesel” (fearful Eliza), Italians named it “La Veglia” and the British nickname was “the Duke of Exeter’s Daughter”. Whatever the name, it was a fearsome device that broke countless prisoners. Indeed, a person stretched on the rack presented the ultimate spectacle of the body in pain. A victim would often be placed on the rack naked or nearly so, and their taut skin would run with the sweat of their agonies.

Probably the most widely used instrument of torture, the rack is to date back to the ancient Greeks. The basic idea of the rack may have originated in the Greek legend of the giant bandit Procrustes. It was rumored that he possessed a bed made of iron that was the right size for any guest. After luring unwary travelers to sleep on the iron bed, he would stretch them to fit – tall travelers had their legs or head lopped off and fed to a giant tortoise. The rack was used since antiquity, being used on St. Vincent and mentioned by the Church Fathers Tertullian (on extraction of confessions from criminals and on persisting Christian “sacrilegers” against the state religion) and St. Jerome (used on a woman according to his first letter).

There are few records of its use before the Middle Ages but during the Spanish Inquisition from the middle of the 13th century onwards there was an increase in its use. The Medieval period of the Middle Ages was violent, and blood thirsty. In these barbarous times the cruel and pitiless torturers were induced to inflict the horrors of tortures, including the Rack, on prisoners by Stretching and Dislocation. Torture methods, devices and instruments were used to inflict the deliberate, systematic, cruel and wanton infliction of physical and mental suffering. There were no laws or rules to protect the treatment of prisoners who faced torture, such as the Rack by Stretching and Dislocation. Torture was seen as a totally legitimate means for justice to extract confessions, obtain the names of accomplices, obtain testimonies or confessions.

At the Tower of London the rack was sometimes claimed as the invention of the Duke of Exeter, a 15th-century Constable of the Tower and so in the 16th-century it was nicknamed The Duke of Exeter’s Daughter although other sources called it “the brake”. During the religious ferment that gripped England in the 16th-century, the rack was used freely not only by the Catholic Queen Mary, but by those monarchs who had broken with Rome – Henry VIII, Edward VI and Elizabeth I.

Click here to see full gallery with inquisition by the rack >

A famous victim of the rack was Anne Askew who was one of the women stretched on the Rack due to her religious beliefs. Anne Askew ((1521-1546) was an English writer and Protestant who was persecuted as a heretic. Anne Askew distributed books about the Protestant faith which had been banned by the authorities. Anne Askew was arrested and imprisoned in the Tower of London. It was believed that Katherine Parr, the sixth wife of King Henry VIII, was a heretic who shared the Protestant views of Anne Askew. Torture was ordered as a way to obtain names of other heretics and to get Anne Askew to implicate the Queen. Sir William Kingston was the Constable of the Tower of London. He was a man hardened by the sights he had witnessed in the Tower but even he refused to see women stretched on the rack. Thomas Wriothesley and Richard Rich took over the role of chief torturers and Anne Askew had to face the ordeal of the rack again. Anne Askew refused to implicate anyone else and was sentence to death by being Burned at the Stake. Brave Anne Askew was carried to execution in a chair because she could not walk after her torture of being stretched on the rack. A chair was tied to the stake and she was burnt alive at the tender age of just 25 years old. Anne Askwe will always be remembered as one of the women stretched on the rack.

Click here to see full gallery with Medieval interrogation by the rack >

Under Queen Elizabeth I, one of the chief interrogators was Thomas Norton. On 27 March 1582 he wrote to the man credited with creating the English secret service, Sir Francis Walsingham: “None was put to the rack that was not at first by some manifest evidence known to the Council to be guilty of treason, so that it was well assured beforehand that there was no innocent tormented. Also none was tormented to know whether he was guilty or not, but for the Queen’s safety to know the manner of the treason and the accomplices.”

Although many variations of the rack have been used throughout the centuries, the basic principle has always been the same – to stretch the victim’s body. The rack stood about one metre from the ground. It was a machine consisting of a rectangular wooden frame. The wooden frame had a roller at each end. The victim’s feet were manacled to one roller, and the wrists were manacled to the other. A handle and ratchet were attached to the top roller and were turned very gradually stepwise to increase the tension on the chains. The victim was tied across a board by his ankles and wrists. The rollers at either end of the board were turned, pulling the body in opposite directions. The victims body was initially stretched. Limbs would be dislocated and prolonged use would end with limbs being torn from their sockets inducing excruciating pain. This caused terrible pain for the victim as well as increasing physical damage as the torture continued. Tendons were ripped, joints separated and bones fractured. The sounds of muscles and tendons tearing and snapping provided audible signs of the damage being done. A victim of the rack was often left with permanent physical disability. For example, because of injuries suffered after being racked three times the Jesuit priest Edmund Campion was unable to raise his hand to swear at his trial. Dislocated joints were the most common problem, but the most serious one was the breaking apart of the spine or spinal vertebrae.

When the victim was securely fastened on the rack, the questions to which answers were desired were put to him. Failure to reply satisfactorily was the signal for the two executioners to commence operating the levers. The result was the stretching of the victim’s limbs and body. If persisted in, this was bound to cause dislocation of the joints or to drag off the members. In some cases the limbs were stretched in much the same manner as on the rack but by means of ropes and pulleys attached to rings or staples in the walls. Occasionally the tortures of the rack were varied or increased by the use of cords in addition to the stretching mechanism. The arms and legs were bound to the sides of the rack with thin but strong cords. These cords were wound around each limb three times, and a stick was inserted in each. When all was ready for the torture to commence, the executioners twisted these sticks, thus gradually tightening the cords and causing them to cut into the flesh until the bones were reached, inflicting terrible wounds.

Sometime this method was limited to dislocating a few bones, but the torturer often went too far and rendered the legs or arms (sometimes both) useless. In the late Middle Ages, some new variants of this device appeared. They often had spikes that penetrated the victim’s back – as the limbs were pulled apart, so was his spinal cord increasing not only the physical pain, but the psychological one of being handicapped at best, too.

The spread-eagled posture left no part of the body invulnerable from the application of other devices like hot irons or pincers, (luckily by that point, the hot irons would be a cake walk) or immune from the attention of those gathered to observe the torture.

In theory there were rules about the use of torture. For example, people were not meant to be tortured to death or tortured repeatedly. People who were physically weak were not mean to be tortured because they might not survive the process. Attempts were made to start with “milder” tortures before moving on to the rack if all else failed.

This method was mostly used to extract confessions, as not confessing meant that the torturer could stretch more. Sometimes, torturers forced their victim to watch other people be tortured with this device to implant psychological fear. It was standard procedure to show the prisoner the rack first, and then to repeat the questions: only if the prisoner remained obstinate should the rack actually be used. Some people did stay silent and were then tortured.

Inquisition World – Medieval torture of witches!

Top Pain – masochism website – play piercing photos

The following missive dedicated to use of stinging nettle in CBT is based on experience. It is clearly not suitable for any one allergic to stinging nettles. Arm yourself with a pair of thick gloves.

Cut down a good quantity of fresh nettles. The best ones are young with pliable stems. A shopping bag full is about fine.

Take a nettle and brush it against the head of your penis. If you haven’t got an erection so far, this should bring one on. It doesn’t hurt much, the sensation is rather good in fact.

Brush some more nettles against your penis, the shaft as well. Gradually a rash will appear and little bumps. Keep going. The more you do, the greater the numbing effect so the next bit will be easier.

Take a handfull of nettles and crush them hard onto your penis. This may hurt, but rub them in well. You can also take a nettle stalk (which is also covered in stingers) and wrap it around the shaft or behind the head. This is a good way of getting the poison in.

Keep going with more nettles. As the poison gets in, the small bumps will join up. This is the desired effect. As you keep on, the bumps turn into a large all over swelling. The more you do, the greater the swelling until your penis will be stretched real tight, bursting against its skin. An increase of about 50% in girth over a normal erection.

To see full gallery with CBT by nettle play – click here >

The sensation is now between pain and pleasure. The nettles hurt, but the penis becomes super sensitive. As you go on the sensitivity will increase.

Eventually you will reach the point where the sensitivity takes over from the pain. Now your penis will start throbbing, but each throb will bring you closer and closer to orgasm. You can try to resist it, but it can be hard because chances are you will come without even touching your penis, the throbbing doing the job for you. The orgasm is intense – as much pain as pleasure.

After orgasm you may remain quite erect, and a second spontanious orgasm is possible within a very short time. When finally flaccid, the penis will retain its girth but shorten, creating a massive, heavy weight swinging between your legs. The sensation will have gone, leaving your penis very numb to the touch. A really wierd feeling.

Gradually – very gradually, the swelling will go down, but a huge lump may hang below the frenum for some time – a day or more. Now the skin has been so stretched it is very sore, and the sensation may make sleep difficult. Over the next few days the skin may start to peel off in a thin layer, leaving a new layer of soft skin underneath.

Whether there is any permanent increase in size we couldn’t say, but we guess the effect should be the same as a pump, if from the inside rather than the out.

Rubbing the stinging nettles into the scrotum and the anus can produce a good feel, but there is no swelling in the same way as the penis. You can also try filling your pants with nettles and taking a train ride. To do this, wear two pairs of pants, slip penis and scrotum through the fly of the first, and wrap over them a plastic bag full of nettles tied on loose with a rubber band. Try keeping a straight face as you walk, jog, cycle or ride a bumpy train.

Genitorture is the act of focusing your play on the genitals for pain/pleasure. Female Genitorture (Cunt Torture or Cunt Play) is pain play inflicted on female genitals. This is any form of pain inflicted on the female genitalia as by abrasion, clamping, play piercing, slapping, temperature play, hitting, pinching (with clips or clothespins), electricity, gentle whipping and flogging. Female genitorture is focused play on genital area that can range from sexy, sensuous sensations to intense pain. Everyone can enjoy cunt play whether you are a sensualist, sexual slut, sadist, or masochist.

There are ways of playing with torture of pussy and the experience of being tortured without inflicting pain. For some women feeling/being exposed in public and humiliation are forms of torture. Torture can also be experienced through erotic teasing without orgasms, being made to wait for orgasms, or being made to come over and over again. Feeling out of control and powerless, being restrained, and surrendering to the unknown can also be a form of torture. Psychological control and “mindfucking” can be used in many ways to create fear and terror without actual pain. It’s so much fun! Genitorture can involve role play – medical, captivity, interrogation, training, punishment, etc.

Genitorture is a wonderful arena for sadists and masochists. Intense pain can be caused without much effort on the top’s part. The genital area is very sensitive. If you don’t want to inflict intense pain, tone it down! Things that might be experienced as mild sensations elsewhere in the body can be very intense in the genital area. There are endless ways of easily inflicting pain in a variety of ways. Bottoms never know what’s coming next. Pain should always be on the outside of the body, not inside. Female genitorture primarily focuses on female genitalia: mons pubis, labia, clitoris, vagina, urethra, anus, even the thighs, abdomen and buttocks when doing genitorture. Genitorture can be part of any scene and can be combined with other types of play.

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Allowing you to manipulate and torture this most vulnerable part of her body is a sign of trust that must be treated with care. A submissive who submits herself to this type of torture is likely experiencing some of the most intense sensations that she will ever encounter.

To properly prepare for genital play, one must first be aware of the safety issues and precautions in general and specific to these activities. Get some good books and study the structure of pussy. You need to know what the various parts are, how they function and what they are called. Communication is paramount in female genital play; women’s pussies vary as much as any other part of women’s bodies (or more), and responses will vary equally dramatically.

Atmosphere is very important when doing a genitorture scene. You want to create the right mix of comfort and apprehension to add drama and pleasure to your scene. The first consideration is temperature of the room. Always think of the bottom first. You may get warm and sweaty during an intense scene, but make the room comfortably warm for their naked, fearful bottom. If your partner is too cold or too hot she can drop out of subspace quickly and not care a twit for what you are doing.

Lighting is equally important. Candles and ambient lighting make a romantic setting for torture. Harsh overhead lighting can add to the feeling of a laboratory or clinic for medical scenes. Either way, what is important is that the top has enough light to see what s/he is doing and the results thereof.

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Position your partner so she may relax and maintain a comfortable posture. How flexible is she? Some bottoms can hold themselves in poses that look terribly painful to others. Some need bondage to maintain position. Don’t forget to check on extremities held for long periods of time in one place. Massaging the muscles even while the body is bound can lessen stiffness.

There are many surfaces that work well for genitorture. Medical tables, bondage tables and massage tables are excellent. Slings are very nice because not only do they give you full access, they have the added stimulation of suspension which adds to the intensity and the vulnerability felt by the bottom. Beds can be used quite well as long as you position yourselves for best access and comfort. Couches are acceptable if that is all you have, but they do not afford as much access. If all else fails, you an also use the floor.

There are lots of things you can use to stimulate/torture your partner. Look around your house, hardware store, drug store, etc. When bottoms are blindfolded, it’s easy to torture them with items that normally would not seem intimidating. It’s fun to add toys and implements to your collection! You don’t really need to buy any equipment to create frightening scenes – there is a lot we can do with our mind, the senses, and our hands and mouth.

Penetration by object or body part is often a major part of genitorture. Dildoes, vibrators and butt plugs are a requirement for genitorture scenes. Be sure that your partner is ready before you insert anything. Use your lube! Start small. If you want to use butt plugs, try a small one first and work up.

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Some women love having clothespins on their pussy lips; some love light whipping on their outer labia, or even their clitoris. Be careful not to clamp the clitoris directly. Women whose genitalia will allow for it often enjoy having a clamp on the clitoris hood, behind the clitoris. This isolates the clitoris away from the body and prevents it from retracting. Direct stimulation should be used with caution since the sensations will be much more intense while clamped in such a way. If your bottom enjoys this sensation, purchase a clit clamp. One can never have too many clips and clamps. Their variety of shape, color, textures and purpose make them excellent for varying the intensity and duration of a scene. Adding weights to clamps on nipples, lips, clits (not for the faint of heart) is often part of a genitorture scene. Clamps attached to a suspender belt are good for holding the vagina open. Do not use pegs or clamps on the inner labia because they are far too thin to take the pressure.

Candles are always good to have about. Using the right type of candle is important to avoid severe burns, especially on delicate tissue. Some people apply pegs or clamps to the genitalia and ensure that they have a good coating of wax. When peg/clamp and wax are removed simultaneously the pain can be extreme.

Stronger fabrics like ropes for general bondage and lighter ones for tying open forceps, tying around lips, and the occasional clit. Use your imagination. If your sub is pierced then these can be utilised in rope play. Nipple piercings can be tied to clamps that are attached to the labia.

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Neurowheels (Wartenburg wheels) are one of the best toys you can own for any scene. Running those sharp little needles over tender flesh always gets a reaction.

Flagellation toys are lots of fun, but must be used with care. Shorter, less dense tails can sting but with lesser impact on the more sensitivity parts. Some love light whipping on their labia, or even their clitoris. Start slowly and watch her reactions. If you are observant, you will be able to increase the impact as she builds her tolerance.

Some women like soft fur on their pussy, others like to be alternately soothed and tormented until they can stand no more. But more intense stimulating scenes often require the right tools for the task. There are many categories of equipment that lend themselves to this type of play.

If you are going to play with a woman, you need to invest in a speculum. Better yet, by a box of disposable plastic ones. If you don’t know what it is, a speculum is a duckbill shaped instrument that scissors open to spread and hold open the vagina. They come in many sizes from juvenile to extra large. They are hideously humiliating to most women.

Forceps are great as clamps. Attach four pairs of forceps to the outer lips and tie them down to the table with rope or string through the finger holes. They also work great as stimulators. Most are thin, long and easily slide into a vagina or anus. Once inside, they can be opened a little or a lot and gently run around the inner walls or rubbed across a clit.

Hypodermic needles are good equipment to have. The labia may be pinned to a corkboard. Labia piercings can hold a pussy open very delightfully, or clit hood piercings can be tied up out of the way with thread, leaving the clit naked and exposed. The scene can be elaborated upon by adding ribbons or bright strings woven between the needles. Or you can weave the needles with flash string and set them on fire with a beautiful whoosh.

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Types of Play and Equipment:
- hands: pull, tug, pinch, slap, flick, nails, tickle, penetrate;
- mouths: lick, suck, blow, bite, nibble;
- soft sensations: feathers, soft brushes, leather, silk, cotton, dusters, fur;
- sharp sensations: toothpicks, skewers, forks, letter openers, knives, needles, Wartenberg wheel;
- abrasion: nails, emory boards, harder brushes, scouring pads, sandpaper, nail sander, electric/battery toothbrushes and flossers, vampire gloves;
- hot temperature play: candle/parafin wax, warmed metals, heat pads, warm liquids, soy candles;
- cold temperature play: ice, cooled metals, cold liquids, frozen popsicles;
- percussion: rulers, tongue depressors, wood spoons, kitchen utensils, hairbrushes, fly swatters, chop sticks, paddles, riding crops, floggers, canes, single tails, magnets and weights (for sensation, pinching, powerlessness);
- penetration: probing instruments, speculum, dildoes, butt plugs, weighted eggs, kegelcisor;
- vibration: different sensations and intensities – inside and outside, remote control;
- suction and vacuuming: vacuum pumps, nipple suction, cupping sets, suction cups, snake bite kit, Rimba and other nipple toys, Panasonic pore cleanser;
- electricity: tens unit, Folsom attachments, violet wand, stun guns, relaxacizors;
- compression: clamps, clothespins (different sizes and intensity), nipple clamps, zippers;
- urethral play: sounds, catheters;
- sensory products: Ben Gay, toothpaste, menthol, erotic response creams, numbing creams, jalapenos, Tiger Balm, listermint strips;
- hair removal: shaving, waxing, tweezers, epilady, satinelle;
- fire play: alcohol, flash cotton/paper/string;
- needle play: play piercing, acupuncture needles, spinal tap needles, needle zippers, needle suturing, blowguns, 7-star hammers;
- branding: pin branding;
- infibulation: super glue, suturing, stapling.

Safety issues always need to be considered in all that we do. Some types of genitorture require little training or experience. Other types of play have higher risks and players should learn safety factors from educational programs, experienced players and other resources. We never want to cause harm or transmit infections. The skin is a natural barrier. Keep in mind that sensitivity and tolerance to intense sensations may be influenced by monthly hormones and other factors like mood, energy level, or state of arousal. Do clearly negotiate options and make sure bottom has a safe word.

Pain, terror, and/or certain activities or body positions can trigger strong negative reactions when least expected. Many women have experienced abuse, assault and/or painful medical procedures. Do negotiate “safe words” before you begin play. If you’re ever in doubt as to the emotional well-being of your bottom during play, ask! Good aftercare is essential after intense scenes.
- use gloves and lube;
- use clean toys, instruments, and hands;
- vaginal, anal, and urethral penetration should not hurt;
- toys, instruments, and fingers used for penetration should be smooth with no sharp edges;
- don’t put anything into the vagina that has been in the anus;
- don’t insert glass objects into vagina or anus (except solid glass toys made for sexual stimulation);
- use caution with sensory products like Ben Gay, Tiger Balm inside the body. It does not wash off;
- know basic first aid;
- remember that pain should be on the outside not inside of body.

Top Pain – masochism website – play piercing photos

Today, 2 June 2010, is the 270th anniversary of Marquis de Sade birth. The French writer of psychological and philosophical works Donatien Alphonse François, Comte de Sade (1740-1814), was a libertine, debaucher, pornographer, and famous sadist. Recently, new interpretations of his life and writings have begun to appear. It is now generally agreed that despite his reputation, his works, which were ignored for over a century, must be considered as of the first rank. Sade has been termed the “most absolute writer who has ever lived.”

Contrary to diffused opinion he didn’t “invent” sadism – it existed before that – but he did lend his name to the practice of deriving sexual pleasure from inflicting pain.

Very little is known of Sade’s life. Donatien Alphonse François de Sade was born on June 2, 1740, in Paris into an aristocratic family. He was the only surviving child of Jean-Baptiste de Sade and his wife Marie-Eléonore de Maillé, a distant cousin of the Prince de Conde. His family had been ennobled in the 12th century and remained a major power-broker in the southern region of Provence.

He grew up on various country estates, including an ancient castle with a dank, miserable dungeon, which no doubt played a factor in his developing psyche. Aged four, de Sade was sent to Avignon into the care of his uncle, Abbe de Sade, whose sexual life was notoriously irregular. After this period de Sade attended the Jesuit college of Louis Le Grand. Unlike the current Catholic school setup, in which youngsters are subjected to mostly mental abuse and surreptitious molestation, the Jesuits of the day included public whippings as part of the daily routine.

From the age of 14 to 26 de Sade was in active military service, and participated in the Seven Years War. After the war, he returned to Paris a young man full of piss and vinegar, and apparently a whole lot of testosterone too. Writing later in life, he said, “So long as the laws remain such as they are today, employ some discretion: loud opinion forces us to do so; but in privacy and silence let us compensate ourselves for that cruel chastity we are obliged to display in public.”

He married in 1763 Renee-Pelagie de Montreuil, the daughter of a high-ranking bourgeois family, but also began an affair with an actress and invited prostitutes to his house. Marriage didn’t slow de Sade’s debaucheries with the working women of the Paris streets. In 1768 de Sade held a prostitute called Rose Keller captive and abused her. de Sade invited a prostitute over for what at first appeared to be the usual procedure, but quickly diverted from foreplay into something else. According to the woman, de Sade masturbated into a chalice, called God a “motherfucker” and inserted communion hosts into her naughty bits, all the while screaming for God to strike him down if God was so tough. Beaten, terrorized, and obviously inadequately guarded, she escaped to notify the authorities. She claimed that she had been whipped with a cat-o’-nine tails and a knotted cord, slashed with a knife, and finally had molten wax poured into the wounds.

Dontatien was sentenced to the first of what would be many stints in prison. After a few months, he was released to exile outside Paris, the equivalent of house arrest. After a couple of years, the scandal died down a bit, which meant de Sade had to fire it back up. He was again brought up on charges, this time for whipping a woman he had purportedly hired as a household servant and masturbating onto her bloodied ass. de Sade paid the woman to drop the charges, but a public outcry led to another few months in prison, followed by another house arrest.

The chief of the Paris vice squad warned brothels of de Sade – he was considered a mortal threat to prostitutes. In the following years de Sade was found guilty of all kinds of sexual crimes, and he managed to anger Mme. de Montreuil, his mother-in-law by seducting her younger daughter, Anne-Prospre, when she was visiting his medieval fortress at La Coste in Provence. The unabated de Sade had again an orgy, but probably he never killed anyone, except in the war. He enjoyed orgies, blasphemy and subversion in equal measure.

Through travel and luck, de Sade managed to stay out of prison for several years after the whipping incident, satisfying himself with such minor scandals as an affair with his wife’s sister and entertaining his mind by staging productions for his various theater friends (who shared his fondness for orgies and escapades). He expanded his interests into male prostitutes as well, although carefully, since homosexuality was a crime comparable to communion-host-fucking. He also compiled a massive library of pornography, including volume on volume of material dealings with priests, nuns and monks in various states of flagrancy.

At Aix in 1772 de Sade received the penalty of death for an unnatural crime and poisoning, but escaped to Italy with his valet Latour. After arrest he was excluded from Paris and sent to his wife’s family home in Normandy. At La Coste de Sade continued to arrange orgies from 1773 to 1777 – he had hired a harem of young girls as sexual slaves. de Sade and his wife hired six teenage girls as “domestic servants” for the winter, then the Marquis spent the season at their country estate forcing the girls through various acts of humiliation and sexual indignity – what we today call “sadism,” in the Marquis’ honor. According to the criminal charges that inevitably followed, the activities included masturbation, fellatio, sodomy, gay sodomy, scourging and bondage. After about six weeks, the families of the girls grew concerned at not hearing from them, and contacted the authorities.

After continuous scandals and charges de Sade was arrested and sent to round tour of 27 years in prisons, which started in the dungeon of Vincennes on February 13, 1777. To overcome boredom he started to write sexually graphic novels and plays.

After escape de Sade was transferred in 1784 to Bastille in Paris, where he had a large room, sixteen feet in diameter. In the new surroundings the hard-working prisoner wrote “Les 120 journées de sodome”, an underground classic over a hundred years. He was released from insane asylum at Charenton on April 2, 1790. Renée-Pélagie obtained a divorce. Next year, at the age of 51, de Sade published “Justine” (1791).

“Justine”, de Sade’s most famous work, depicts graphically sexual encounters of a poor young girl. de Sade wrote an early version of the novel in the Bastille and completed it in 1791 while free. In de Sade’s philosophy God is evil and the misfortunes suffered by “Justine” are a result from denying this truth. de Sade himself declared “Justine” a work “capable of corrupting the devil” and denied his authorship. According to D.J. Enright, de Sade’s philosophy was very simple: “if you enjoy wickedness, it shows that Nature intended you to be wicked, and it would be wicked not to be.” Some 19th-century writers were inspired by de Sade’s belief that people should act on their instincts.

Somehow de Sade survived through the years of the French Revolution, although many other aristocrats were executed and his name was in 1794 on a list of prisoners to be brought to trial. To secure his freedom and property he wrote an eulogy of Marat, and got elected secretary of his district in Paris. In 1801 he was again arrested and sent to Charenton, where he began to work a 10-volume novel, “Crimes of Passion”. During this period he also wrote and staged plays in the asylum, although Minister of the Interior issued the order, that the “greatest care [must] be taken to prevent any use by him [Sade] of pencils, pens, ink, or paper.” His last days de Sade spent under the control of an ex-abbé.

In 1814, at the age of 74, the Marquis de Sade died in his sleep. No doubt his last wish involved someone having sex with his corpse, but if this was done, there is no record of it. After his death on December 2, 1814, his elder son burned his last and other manuscripts. de Sade’s grave was later desecrated when his skull was taken for pseudo-scientific measurements.

He produced such works as “Dialogue between a Priest and a Dying Man”, “The 120 Days of Sodom”, “The Misfortunes of Virtue”, “Aline and Valcour”, as well as over 35 plays and numerous short stories. His masterwork, the “The 120 Days of Sodom”, was found hidden in his cell in 1904 and published.

Modern critics have rightly pointed out that de Sade foreshadowed the age of psychoanalysis, identifying the power and the nature of the sexual obsessions that would later be more clinically obsessed over by Sigmund Freud. The fact that he was also thoroughly in the thrall of those obsessions doesn’t detract from the insight. The philosophy of the Marquis de Sade was that Man was governed by his Nature. There was little he could do about it therefore he should simply enjoy life to the full, whatever his intrinsic nature dictates, to do otherwise is to deny ones self. Man can only exhibit and enjoy to the full his true nature when he is freed from all moral and social restraints. Quite rightly Sade dismissed morality as fashion, that it was Man’s artificial laws that dictated what was right and wrong.

A collar in BDSM lyfestyle is not something to be given lightly. It is symbolic of a serious commitment of ownership and bears the same importance as a wedding ring. A collar symbolizes not only ownership, commitment, love and devotion, but embodies the qualities of honor, respect and trust.

Collars can be made from lighter materials such as cotton, or heavier materials such as leather. Most traditional collars are made of leather or metal and have a ring(s) embedded in them. There are also collars made specifically for show, these are usually more ornate in design and not meant to use in bondage, though some can be depending on the construction. As the wearing of a traditional collar can interrupt with work and other real life duties, some submissives wear chokers. These can be pearls, ribbons, a cameo or some other close fitting necklace. Collars often feature buckles, straps and hooks, padlocks and other attachments. Steel collars are also worn by some and lockable (metal) necklaces are also regarded as a form of collar. A very few even choose to wear permanently locking collars (these click into place and have no unlocking key), that cannot be removed except by cutting the steel.

Below are examples of the several different types of collars often presented.

A Collar of Consideration or Protection.

This collar is traditionally given at the very beginning of a potential relationship. The existence of the collar of consideration indicates to other Dominant’s and submissives that the Dominant and submissive are forming a potentially serious relationship. This collar is offered seriously and with intent. The submissive in accepting this collar from the Dominant is equally serious in their understanding that their relationship has moved into a different stage.

This particular collar is worn by new submissive at various events to show that he/she is under the protection of a Dominant. You may have seen a collar of protection worn by a slave during a play party aligning them with the Dominant that had granted the Protection. All approaches to the submissive wearing this collar should be made through the Dominant whose protection he/she is under. It is usually placed upon the neck of the submissive at the party in full view and taken off after. Making it very clear that this is only for protection purposes. During this time however, the slave will act as if this dominant is the rightful Master or Mistress and refer to them in all areas of service. This “under protection” slave may not be played with, without the permission and in most cases presence of the Dominant in charge for that time period. The collar acts to openly declare to other dominant’s that this submissive is “off-limits” and that honourable dominant’s should not pursue this submissive in any manner. However, the slave retains to right to request a playtime with a specific person or reject it respectfully. This is a temporary collar that it is normally returned after the event has adjourned.

A collar of consideration can be by a bracelet, waist chain, anklet or other choice. The traditional or customary representation of the collar of consideration is a leather collar in some shade of blue. The actual shade of color is not as important as the color itself. This will usually be a very simple collar with no lock or key. No D-ring or one that is very small.

A Training Collar.

This collar represents the second collar exchanged between a Dominant and a submissive. Typically a prelude to a formal collar it is utilized while the sub/slave is being taught and is still learning the specific duties expected by her/his Dominant. In many cases the Dominant and submissive may consider or try living together actively.

The training collar is offered by the Dominant after they have engaged in a period of time where they have held extensive conversations with the submissive and explored characteristics, traits, interests, sexual needs, desires and lifestyles to see if they consider themselves to be a good match in enough areas to move into a relationship of deeper commitment. In many ways this is where the relationship is truly tested physically, mentally and emotionally.

The acceptance of this collar by the submissive indicates that the submissive agrees to pursue a much deeper relationship with the Dominant which will involve or may, serious feelings, emotions, commitments and responsibilities. Most enter a deeper emotional stage at this point and may begin to express true devotion, love, honour and mutual respect.

During this time period he/she is a mere submissive. Submissive is belonging to Dominant, is under training for a specific time frame or for duration. At this point of the journey, he/she is considered the submissive of the dominant, but no contract has been set up as of yet. Submissive could consider this the engagement time. Submissive courtship is over and he/she steady training has begun. Now actions carry consequences and more often or not this is the making or breaking period for many slaves and Dominants. This period of time can vary from couple to couple. It used to be a minimum of 2 years, but each hold their own stock on it. If after this time, the submissive has proven to be the right one and the Master or Mistress also, again yes it goes from both ends, then next stage can be an official Collaring Ceremony.

The traditional training collar is often made of leather. It is generally very plain and may be either red or black. Many Dominants alternatively offer a training collar in chain.

Formal or Slave Collar, or Permanent Collar.

Is given by the Dominant as a symbol of the bond between them. It represents love, honor, respect, and loyalty. This collar is usually presented during a ceremony in front of witnesses and is often accompanied by a permanent mark on the submissive/slave. It is a recognition of commitment, deep emotional feelings, devotion, mutual respect and consideration.

Joy of joys and privilege of privileges. This is the representation of the final stage of commitment. It expresses the belief that the dominant and submissive share a genuine and growing desire to share in each others lives, perhaps the rest of their lives. You are now the honored slave of your Dominant and are fully belonging to him or her. At this point a contract may be drawn up, not unlike a marriage license with both making their rights and responsibilities known to all in attendant. This is one of the most wonderful moments in a slave’s life. It is also a very special moment in the life of a Dominant. You now have achieved something most can only dream about. Usually this collar is presented in a 24/7 lifestyle setting and the slave if lucky is present in the household of the Master or Mistress.

The traditional appearance of the slave collar is a collar made of black leather or metal which is adorned by brass or silver objects or designs. This collar is created specifically for the individual submissive and is often an original design. You may see the addition of a lock and key. A lockable collar may further symbolize a transfer of power from the submissive to the dominant holding the key. Perhaps even a tag that may be attached to the D-ring.

An Ownership Collar.

In some extreme cases the slave isn’t enough. Slave wants to be owned, fully and completely. Slave wants to be the absolute property of the Master/Mistress wants to give the gift of complete life and soul. At this point the Contract is resigned, redone and finalized. You are now no longer your own person, but the property of another human being. This is not only the greatest of honors for a slave but for the Master or Mistress as well. Master or Mistress is Owner from now.
This is a very deep and emotional step, which has gone much further then any vanilla marriage ever could. This is like a marriage without the option of divorce. This will carry on into death.

House Collar.

House collars are used in clubs, homes and in organizations that provide social spaces to protect submissives. House collars show that the submissive is under the guidance of the house and is not to be approached. This is often used with inexperienced submissives who are not ready to make their own choices yet and need time to learn.

Cyber Collar.

These are virtual collars often virtually worn by people who have no idea of the real world. They live the life of a Dominant and slave in their imagination. This creation attempts to mimic the real life collar but tends to be exchanged between those who are primarily BDSM cyber fetishers. The presence of the cyber collar and it’s apparent implications for those newly exploring the lifestyle tend to diminish what is a serious exchange in the real world.

Velcro Collar.

Most of us who are in some version of the real time BDSM call it that because of the easy on and easy off attitude. What such a person however seldom seems to realize is that those with Velcro Collars are seldom respected in the BDSM lifestyle community. If you are Mistress or Master today, collared to so and so tomorrow and the next day you are nothing just to return to being collared by another a week later and then suddenly return to dominance all the while wearing various collars from various people, you are a laughable and very pathetic human being. Those types are plentiful and sadly are one of the causes of ridicule for us.

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Wax play is a form of sensual play involving warm or hot wax usually dripped from candles or ladled onto a person’s naked skin. Hot wax in sex play is used to increase adrenalin and thus arousal. It is a very distinctive and unique sensation. Very intense, but concentrated in a very small area. Hot wax applied improperly is dangerous. Using the wrong melting point wax and/or not checking temperature of the molten wax can result in up to third degree burns, requiring immediate attention by a physician.

The first and most apparent danger with hot wax play is burns. Candle wax for BDSM play should not cause burns. The exact temperature of a candle flames depends on the material being burned. Different waxes will have different flame temperatures. On average, the maximum flame temperature will be about 2550 deg F. The degree of heat of the dripping wax varies depending on the materials from which the candle is constructed.

There are many different types of candles available. Use plain 100% paraffin candles, these burn at a safer temperature for hot wax play. Beeswax is the hottest. Avoid beeswax candles. Beeswax burns at a much higher temperature than plain paraffin candles and can cause burns. The melting point is much higher than human skin can comfortably deal with. Some experienced players do use this type of candle. It can cause second or third degree burns. Avoid beef tallow candles. Wax made from animal fat can be extremely hot and cause burning. Avoid candles with metallic colors. These often contain poisonous metalic salts. Avoid candles with metal wicks, metal wick can drip hot molten metal on the submissive. Avoid scented candles. Scented candles burn at a higher temperature and may cause scalding. Perfumes, hardeners, and other additives can, and have, caused serious allergic reactions.

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So paraffin is the best type of wax. Paraffin waxes are very stable. They do not chemically react with either concentrated alkalines or acids. Straight unadulterated paraffin wax is unlikely to cause any sort of reaction. However unless you make your own candles you probably won’t be able to get pure old paraffin wax. The plain white candles are probably the most trustworthy. They are usually relatively pure, cheap and utilitarian. They usually don’t have the hardeners which make the melting temperature shoot up.

Color does affect the temperature at which candles melt. Darker colors also mean more additives. Red candles tend to drip hotter than black or white. Additives do make a difference, but the ones to watch out for are hardeners such as those used in dripless candles. These are generally various sorts of oil-soluble dyes and, for some, can be a skin irritant. Some of these dyes can also stain both skin and clothing. It is best to start off with wax that has no added colors.

A good candy thermometer is required to determine the temperature of the melted wax. Some temperatures at which wax become liquid (melt):
Raw paraffin (soft): 115°-126°F
Votive candles (harder): 131°-141°F
Taper-type candles (hard): 141°F or higher
Hurricane lamp candles (hard): 154°F or higher
Beeswax (waxy to hard): 146°F or higher

If you spill hot water at temperatures above 140°F on yourself, you will likely get a burn. However, scalding water doesn’t stick to the skin, hot wax does. Wax also retains heat, so 140°F and hotter wax is very likely going to create an even nastier burn than water at the same temperature. As a general rule, the wax temperature at skin contact should never be above about 135°F. The ideal working temperature at skin contact is generally around 120°-125°F.

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The best way to see how a candle feels is to test it out on yourself. The temperature of wax can be tested on the inside of your wrist. Use the sensitive skin on your wrist or elbow to get a feel for how hot this candle is. Never use hot wax on a submissive that you haven’t tested the temperature on your own body first. Make sure your submissive is not wearing any oil basic lotions / perfume.

It is easiest to have the bottom horizontal, although vertical is possible. Put a drop cloth or towel under him to catch the wax during dripping and especially during removal. Place and light some candles along his body if you wish. Wax play may be combined with other BDSM or sexual activity. Many people find that being tied and blindfolded during wax play heightens the sensations, not knowing where the next drop will fall, and being unable to move away from it can add a great deal to the erotic sensations.

The temperature of the wax hitting the submissive is regulated by the distance the candle is held above the submissive. The temperature becomes cooler in proportion to its height. To start out, hold the candle high over the body, 2-3ft, the higher the better, because the further the distance a drop of hot wax travels, the cooler it will be, and the faster it will chill and become room temperature (solid) when it hits the body. You can adjust the temperature of the wax by increasing or decreasing the distance between the candle and the skin. Watch the bottom, not the candle. Drop a few drops and carefully note your partner’s reaction. People have a tendency to stop when that first drop hits. Don’t. Go for a steady series of drops. If you stop and too much liquid wax builds up near the flame, you could tip that off into a tissue (unless the bottom would appreciate receiving it at that point in the scene). Then you can get closer, to see what works best for you victim.

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Drip little bits of wax at varying heights and areas of the body to help the submissive get into headspace and to help build up a tolerance. Go for a steady series of drops. Rotate the candles around while dripping so it burns evenly or a smooth pour from the larger candles. Gradually lower the candle to see the effect. Constantly, drip the wax at various heights and different areas. Different areas of the body may not be able to tolerate as much as other areas i.e. private sensitive areas. Make various designs. You can create beautiful artwork, using a naked body as the canvas. Use your imagination. But remember pooling is bad, so if you have a pool of wax, dump if off on the ground, or blow out the candle, let it cool off, and re-light it. Also remember that if you drop wax on top of wax, it will hold the heat in and possibly cause burns, so be careful when you layer.

For females, the breasts, nipples and vagina can be very erotic. For males, the thighs, cock and balls are especially sensitive. You can make a “penis mold” by totally coating the area. Some of the most sensitive areas on both sexes are the inner thighs, the area of the belly that joins the hip, the nipples, and the genitals. It would be better to begin in a less sensitive area, moving to an occasionally drop on a highly sensitive one. Don’t use hot wax on the head and face.

Jar candles are nice you can get a lot of wax in a little time. You can pour it on slowly or cover them with a large amount at one time. BDSM waxplay jar candles does not stick to hair, so this is good for hairy male submissive or female that does not shave down below. You can use all types of fun stuff to get the wax on the submissive from a coffee cup, turkey baster, spoon, paint brush (don’t use anything that you will want to use later ) also you can pour it into cup.

Perfect candles

Guide to wax play

Japanese drip candles

Ice and/or cold water should be kept on hand for accidents or simply to alternate the sensations. If you combine wax play with ice play, you can give them the feeling that their skin is being burned off without getting them more than pink. You should also keep very cold water or ice and burn ointment nearby in the event of an accidental burn.

Removing the wax can be just as erotic and full of sensation as the actual waxing. This can also be a very fun part of the scene. As it pulls away from the skin, the sensation is again intense, and running a feather or fingernails or even a tongue over this sensitized skin is a very sexy way to prolong the waxing session. It is easiest to use a comb held sideways to scrape off the wax. Beat it off, if you going to do a flogging after a waxing, you will beat most of it off. After removing the majority of the wax, try using a knife to scrape the wax off or rubbing with baby oil. Do not use a sharp knife to do this. The skin is very sensitive once the wax is removed. There will be reddening of the skin but this should clear up in a few hours at the most.

Some people advocate oiling the skin before you drop the wax. This will make the cleanup much easier, as the wax does not adhere, but you must remember the oil will make the wax seem a bit hotter.

Avoid recycling the wax used on the genital area as you cannot sterilize the wax short of heating it to temperatures that will cause the wax to begin to smoke and possibly ignite.

BDSM is not a solo practice. You need at least one other partner to safely satisfy that urge, whether you are dominant or submissive. Finding a BDSM partner is not easy and it takes time and patience.

There are many ways to find a partner. Ads in specialized magazines, social gatherings in the lifestyle (munches) where people in the BDSM lifestyle meet in a non-threatening situation. Also play party (private or public), introductions from other lifestylers, internet with forums, chat rooms (a good places to get to know others with same or similar interests) and dating websites. Some links with the biggest dating sites you can find below.

On the Internet you can find web sites and chat rooms in which there are people who are living a 24/7 BDSM relationship and they want the same for themselves. They crave that intimacy and bond that an established relationship has. They crave the sensations that physical BDSM activities give them, and the euphoria with which many people describe their sessions.

You should remember that there are about 3 times more men than women in the lifestyle. There are about 4 male Doms for every female sub and it makes the search hard. There are always a lot more ads for male Doms looking for a female submissive then there are ads for female submissive doing a search for a Dom. There are not many female Doms looking for a male sub. About 25 percent of players switch in some form. The best partner for a switch is a switch.

Women have the control in the search for partners in the BDSM lifestyle so men have to play by their rules even if you are a Dom. Usually, before a woman will accept to be dominated in real life, she will want to build a bridge of trust between her and her future Dom. If you go too fast and push too hard, you will simply alienate the possible lady prospect. Like a vanilla relationship, you must sell the social side of you before you can get further.

If you are looking for a lifetime partner, that one special person to share your life with, then you start at the beginning. First you sit down and identify who you are. You can’t possibly find a partner who will match you if you do not know what it is that you are looking for. When you believe you have a clear and unbiased view of yourself, then your task is to find someone that parallel’s you.

You should allow your search to extend no further than a 200-mile radius (or 3 hour drive) from your permanent location. Long distance relationships have very poor statistics; they can foster illusions and fantasies and in general can create dangers and problems that are much less common “within” your local community. By limiting your search to your immediate vicinity you increase the potentials of finding a partner within a distance where the growth of a relationship can occur.

It seems that many people think finding a BDSM partner has a different set of “rules” than finding a vanilla one. But in reality this is not completely true. When looking for a vanilla partner to committ to, one goes through the dating process. This is a period of time in which the people get to know each other as much as they can. Finding a dominant or submissive works the same way.

The “dating period” is called negotiation in BDSM. Getting to know each other as much as possible. It is important when looking for a life partner to explore all of those vanilla aspects. Keep to the same ethics you would use for a vanilla relationship within a BDSM one and you will eventually find the correct partner for you. It also includes kink compatibility, which means finding out if what you enjoy physically is something your prospective partner enjoys as well. Learning these things takes time and does not occur in just a few days. It is through this getting to know each other process that one gathers enough knowledge about the other to decide if further intimacy is something they want, or if it is not.

When contacting potential partner’s in your area, be open enough to express yourself clearly but try not to give them the answers to all your hopes and dreams. Keep your conversation courteous but not deferential. It is important when looking for a life partner to explore all of those vanilla aspects. If the person only has a desire to role-play and talk D/s or BDSM, then they may not be looking for a life partner. If they immediately insist you call them an honorific title etc. then you should probably move along to someone else. In general terms this can indicate a poor self-image or a person with a less than clear understanding of the D/s relationship or lifestyle in the real world.

Do not feel any obligation for further contact. You have no agreement with this person and should not be motivated to a continued contact due to feelings of shame, guilt or any other emotion of like kind.

The longer you communicate online or on the phone the more a fantasy or assumption of expectation can occur. Relationships are in real life. So safety is the first issue. Everything you do to meet a new partner must be done under this primary rule. Meet your potential partner in a public place, a cafe or restaurant for example, but never in the person’s house or apartment. The first meeting is strictly social and a getting acquainted opportunity. This should be made very clear at the outset, and any effort by the dominant partner to “seduce” the submissive should be seen as an act of bad faith and indication of a lack of trust worthiness.

A trusted person should know about the schedule of the meeting and should be called at an appointed time at the end of the meeting to confirm that all has gone well. Make sure a friend or someone you trust knows where you are and if possible leave a phone number or address.

If you have found a person you think s/he is the right one and you trust this person – enjoy and value this wonderful gift, it is hard to find.

The garrote, also known as garrote vil, garotte and garrotte – the execution device used by the Spaniards until the end of Francisco Franco’s dictatorship as recently as 1974. In Spain, it was abolished, as well as the death penalty, in 1978 with the new constitution. Originally, it was an execution where the convict was killed by hitting him with a club (“garrote” in Spanish). Later, it was refined and consisted of a seat to restrain the condemned person while the executioner tightened a metal band around his neck with a crank or a wheel until suffocation of the executee. With the handle the executioner slowly crushed the victim’s neck causing death from asphyxia.

The safe prototype of the garrote without movable parts is used now in BDSM play. This device is intended only to fix the submissive without causing an injury of the vital structures of the neck.

This device has a Spanish name because it was improved in Spain. It is not clear how complete earlier records are and even modern ones are somewhat patchy. But at least 736 people, including 16 women, were executed in Spain in the 19th century. 65 men and 2 women were executed by garroting between 1950 and 1974 in various parts of Spain. The first woman to be garroted was Juana Rivero in Madrid on the 3rd of November 1824 for robbery. Twenty seven year old Mariana Pineda became the first woman to suffer for treason when she was executed on the 26th of May 1831 in Andalusia. It was reported that the spike of the garrote pierced her neck and protruded through her mouth. Garroting was last used on the 2nd of March 1974, when two men were executed on the same day for the shooting of a police officer during a robbery.

Click here to see more garrote devices.

A few other countries used the garrote now and again. It was used in Spanish colonies, e.g. Cuba, Mexico, Puerto Rico and the Philippines. It also was the official method for ordinary criminals in Portugal up to abolition in 1867.

Garroting appears to have developed from the early Chinese form of execution known as the bow-string. The criminal was tied to an upright post with two holes bored in it through which the ends of a cord from a long bow were passed and pulled tight round the neck by the executioner until the condemned strangled. In later versions the prisoner was seated on a shorter post with his back to the main post and a rope loop was placed round his neck and around the post. The executioner twisted a stick inserted in the loop to tighten the rope and slowly strangle the prisoner.

Using the garrote in execution – click here to see full gallery.

There were many different types of garrotes used as execution devices. It was originally made of a pole driven in the ground and a rope to tie up round the victim’s neck. But if the pole was not very thick and the rope was tightened behind the pole, the neck of the victim could be tightened more gradually and easily released. The string tying the victim’s neck to the pole could be made of a material that would shrink once wetted, so that the victim would slowly suffocate as it dried. This sort of torture was used all over the world as testified by etchings.

Using the garrote in BDSM play – click here to see full gallery.

The next form of garrote comprised a wooden stool on which the prisoner sat with his back to the post. A strong wooden chair was used and the condemned was strapped at the wrists, arms, waist and legs. In both types behind the seat, was a substantial post to which was affixed a heavy screw operated by a handle or a weighted lever, in both cases, connected to a spike or a small star shaped blade which ran through the post. When the screw/lever mechanism was operated, the blade entered the criminal’s neck and severed the spinal column, in an attempt to ensure that the prisoner did not strangle to death.

As in most countries, a more humane method of execution was sought and various improvements to the garrote were made. The Spanish version was perfected for this instrument to be used for execution. It had an iron collar that had an iron on its rear which penetrated the cervical vertebrae in a way that the convict died both for asphyxiation and because the spinal cord was crushed. The steel collar must be larger in size than the victim’s neck to prevent strangulation, but, at the same time, tight enough to immobilize the head and the neck. Preventing neck and head movement was necessary because it allowed the victim’s cervical vertebrae to be penetrated by a steel tip, moved by a screw mechanism positioned in the rear of the pole. In theory, such penetration was to be quick and precise, thus, able to administer a rapid and certain death.

Some versions of this device incorporated a fixed metal blade or spike directed at the spinal cord, to hasten the breaking of the neck. The spiked version, called the Catalan garrote, was used as late as 1897 in Spain but would continue up to 1940 in Cuba (as well as being used by some other colonies until shortly after the 1898 Spanish-American War). A further alternate device involved two metallic squares covered with leather, of which the upper one moved over the bottom one when the executioner turned the lever, breaking the inmate’s neck trapped inside. In some versions, two brass collars were used. One collar was attached to the lever whilst the other was fixed to the post. Both collars were hinged to admit the prisoner’s neck. When all preparations were complete, the executioner operated the mechanism forcing one collar outwards whilst the other remained stationary thus, if correctly adjusted, dislocating the prisoner’s neck and causing immediate unconsciousness followed by death.

In most cases, the prisoner lost consciousness quite quickly and was dead after a few minutes. Garrotting, even in its later forms, could never guarantee an instant loss of consciousness and was never considered to be as quick or humane as hanging.

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Missive by J & e (BDSM 24/7).

Big disclaimer: The following is based on our experience only. Neither of us claim any special expertise or knowledge.

Breast pumping and labia pumping are not painful. After the cylinder has been removed pumping is not generally physically intense for the person who has been pumped. And, the sensation is much more subtle than it looks. However to the touch or tongue it feels fantastic.

When e is pumped and the vacuum is strong an intensity can build. However, it is not so much painful as uncomfortable. The only time e finds it as intense or painful is at the beginning if pumped too fast or when, after a long while of being held under vacuum, there builds a soreness and discomfort, which is almost immediately relieved upon release of vacuum and removal of the cylinder.

It is important to not over pump initially, because the full effects of the pumping is not felt immediately. There is a delay as the vacuum continues to slowly draw tissue into the cylinder – for e, this is an interesting and somewhat pleasurable sensation and can last from a few minutes to upward of 10 minutes.

For e when the vacuum is released on her labia there is not normally a great deal of sensation aside from the actual release of the vacuum and removal of the cylinder – her pussy is somewhat desensitized by that time. However, to the touch (hers or mine) it feels very good to the hand and to my mouth and tongue.

For e, the nipples are another story altogether. When the vacuum is released and the cylinder removed the nipples are very sensitive and tender to the touch. she enjoys it more and more, and we are doing it more frequently. Initially we were doing it mostly because I found it so enjoyable, pleasurable, intense and arousing. Whereas, for her it was ok but nothing super. Now it is, and is becoming, much more and increasingly enjoyable for her – nothing like practice my father always said.

There are a couple of pictures of e double vacuum pumped. That is her nipples being pumped by one set of cylinder while a separate set of cylinder are vacuum pumping her areola. The inner nipple cylinders were vacuum pumped in three stages to 20 inch Hg. First stage 12 inches Hg; second stage 5 minutes later to 15 inches Hg; third stage to 20 Hg 10 minutes later; then the outer cylinders were put in place and vacuum pumped to 12 inches Hg. These are then left on for 45-60 minutes.

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You can find more double pumping pictures and video clips here

e does not lactate. However, it is not uncommon for her to secrete small amounts of clear fluid from the nipple being pumped – which tastes faintly sweet and is erotically enjoyable. Some women do lactate especially if they are younger. e and I are both over 50…

How long to do pumping is difficult to say specifically, though it boils down to between 30 minutes and, on the long side,1hour and 30 minutes . The amount of vacuum and the length of time that are best for a given situation is due to a host of factors including diet, hydration in general and of the skin in particular, where you are in the menstrual cycle, etc… Listen to your body and how you are responding and it will tell you when it is too much or too long. Have patience, enjoy it and more importantly, perhaps, enjoy the process.

The amount of vacuum and the length of time is also effected, to a degree, by the diameter of the cylinder with regard to the fit on the nipple – too small a diameter at too high a vacuum and there is a risk of blistering quickly because the fit on the nipple wall at high vacuum is too tight, to large a cylinder and you are developing suction on the areola along with the nipple – not that there is anything wrong with that. There are other factors such as staging the amount of vacuum, versus simply pumping up. At a given vacuum level give it time before considering pumping higher, letting the vacuum slowly draw in the skin.

The most important factor is how it feels best. Built slowly. Let you body tell you and follow its directions. You will be fine as long as you do not let things go for too long or rush things. Regarding pain and sensitivity – it is not painful.

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When e is pumped and the vacuum is strong an intensity can build. However, it is not so much painful as uncomfortable. The only times e finds it intense or painful are at the beginning if pumped too fast or when, after a long while of being held under vacuum, there builds a soreness and discomfort that is almost immediately relieved upon release of vacuum and removal of the cylinder. It is important to not over pump initially, because e does not feel the full effects of the pump immediately.

There is a delay as the vacuum continues to slowly draw tissue into the cylinder – for e, this is an interesting and somewhat pleasurable sensation and can last from a few minutes to upward of 10 minutes. For e when the vacuum is released there is not normally a great deal of sensation aside from the actual release of the vacuum and removal of the cylinder which is very releasingly/releavingly pleasurable. When the vacuum is released and the cylinder removed the nipples are very sensitive and tender to the touch. However, to my touch it feels very good and it feels fantastic to my mouth and tongue.

Most of our vacuum cylinders and equipment came from LA PUMP and NW PUMPWORKS where we had our cylinders custom made. They both now appear to be defunct. You can get cylinders and pumps from the Stockroom http://www.stockroom.com and from Extreme Restraints http://www.extremerestraints.com/home.html. You need a good quality brass pump with vacuum gauge.

How big are your breast? Measure their diameter – as well as height from the front chest wall and height from the side of the chest wall in line with your nipple or from what ever point the breast height is the greatest. The key to this measurement is to feel the point on the side of the chest where the rib cage turns into the chest and starts to flatten out as it becomes the chest – as this is where the cylinder will tend to seat when the vacuum is applied. The second key is to not to obtain a standing breast diameter but rather a diameter with breast in hand…

Then the question you want to answer is how severe you want your first set of cylinders. for example is the breast in hand measurement – typical for a woman with 34 D breasts it is around, 4.5 inches in diameter? With breast in hand with a height of 4.5 inches from the side wall and 4-4.25 inches from the chest wall – then a cylinder of 4.25 inches in diameter with a height of 5.5 inches is not severe. but a cylinder of 3.75 inches diameter with a height of 6 inches may be severe.

The quick connect fittings can be found at: Colder Products Company (http://www.colder.com).

For more on e and methods, procedures, and discourse on breast and genital pumping please see http://groups.yahoo.com/group/femalepumpingandlabiastretching. You will need to go to message 1000-10015 and earlier to see relevant posting there. The files section also has pictures and some video clips.

By J & e. © Copyright J & e BDSM 24/7. All rights reserved.

Thousands of original authentic real life pictures and video clips of slave e with accompanying narratives. Pussy stretching, pussy weighting and pumping, bdsm sex, extreme bondage and discipline and much more. Please visit BDSM 24/7.